Culture

I Can’t Stop Thinking About Trump Booking The ‘Four Seasons Total Landscaping’ Parking Lot

"Did this man’s entire presidency just end in a landscaping company’s parking lot?"

by Michelle Rennex  9 November 2020
four seasons total landscaping memes

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From Donald Trump’s request to ‘stop the count‘, to mail-in ballots becoming an unexpected hero, to Nevada taking far too long to tally their ballots, the 2020 Election has been one giant meme-fest.

So, it only makes sense that Trump’s presidency ended in a Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot.

Yep, instead of booking the Four Seasons hotel, someone on Donnie’s team accidentally ended up securing a spot in the parking lot of a small gardening business with the same name — a truly beautiful end to an absolutely horrific four-year term.

And, as if the joke hadn’t already reached perfection, that Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot happened to be perched between a crematorium and a dildo store — sorry — an “adult book store”. Not even Saturday Night Live could write a sketch this perfect.

Beyond the location being, well, a random landscaping shop, we know that the whole thing was a major fuck-up because Trump had actually tweeted, then deleted, a message about the press conference location.

Initially, Donald Trump noted that there would be a “Lawyer’s Press Conference at Four Seasons, Philadelphia. 11 AM” before quickly deleting the tweet. As a follow-up correction, Donnie shared that there was actually going to be a “big press conference” at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping at 11.30 AM, instead.

While no one on Trump’s team will actually own up to the mistake, it is pretty damn obvious that someone fucked up majorly. It’s one thing to book a landscaping business for a press conference as a means of supporting small business, but using a parking lot next to a dildo shop and a crematorium for a massive post-election presser is truly something else.

The Four Seasons hotel even had to clarify that they were no way associated with the press conference, after they received an influx of calls from confused and bewildered attendees. I mean, who wouldn’t be confused over a presidential conference happening in the parking lot of a business with a 3.3-star Google rating?

The New York Times does report, however, that the booking was not a mistake and was merely a “misunderstanding” on Trump’s behalf. The landscaping business was allegedly chosen because it was in a “Republican-friendly” part of town, according to sources “familiar with the matter”.

PBS News Hour reporter, Daniel Bush, also further clarified that the business was contacted out of the blue on the day of the conference because their location was “secure” and “close to an exit on the I95”. Sure, Jan.

Instead of the Trump camp just admitting their mistake, they stuck to their story, and the world’s worst press conference still took place at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot. With Trump 2020 stickers stuck onto on a roller door and a lectern erected out of nowhere, Rudy Giuliani addressed the media to share that Trump would not be conceding and continued to peddle the idea of voter fraud. But no one cared.

Everyone only cared about the Four Seasons Total Landscaping fuck up — about Rudy Giuliani standing next to an adult store called Fantasy Island and the Delaware Valley Cremation Center, just to announce that Donald Trump refused to accept defeat.

As expected, Four Seasons Total Landscaping became a huge meme, with Twitter finding pure joy in Donald Trump’s “totally planned” and “not accidental” parking lot press conference:

So next time you’re feeling down, just remember that at least you weren’t the fool who booked the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot next to a dildo shop and crematorium.