Five thoughts all job seekers have after another rejected application

“We regret to inform you this position has already been filled.”

“We think you’re a strong candidate, however you’re not what we’re looking for.”

“Thank you for your application. Unfortunately, you were not selected for the role.”

If you’ve received these brutal snubs in your inbox, turn up Coldplay’s ‘Fix You’ and proceed.

“Your loss, bitch.”

You’re not happy, Jan. You’ve thought of sending back a response to HR with an iconic clapback that’d make HBIC Emily Gilmore proud. Maybe, just maybe they’ll reconsider when they realise what could’ve been, had they given you a chance. But you don’t have time for their pity. It may sound like a good idea to drag them, but it’ll do you harm in the long run. Backspace that reply, sit back and relax, and hope the people they do hire do a shit job. *Sips the #SorryNotSorry tea*.

“It’s OK – I didn’t want that job anyway.”

The job description says “If you’re keen to get your foot in the door and gain some experience, this is the role for you!” Meanwhile you’re not all that keen, just hungry for a job and some dollar bills. You give it a shot, but on the day of the interview, you see sorry-looking peeps eating sad desk lunches while the shitty office air-con is on blast mode. This is not what you came for. Learn from Drake and RiRi and tell yourself you’re too good for them.

“What’s wrong with me?!”

You go the extra mile by hunting down who scored the gig on LinkedIn (without logging on) to see why they were more worthy than you. With your laser-like eyesight, you review your resume, cover letter, even your email to see any errors. Result? Nothing. “Is it a crime to have good experience?” you ask yourself. Get your hot sauce at the ready, this calls for an investigation by the Law and Order fam. Dun dun.

“Looks like I’ll be stuck in my shitty retail/hospo job forever.”

Working weekend shifts on slashed penalty rates, dealing with random customer requests and holding back from making smartarse comments – do I need to go further?

If you’re a recent grad, the idea of having to stay in your casual gig has got your fists clenched like Arthur the aardvark. You’re heading to the back room to unleash the waterworks because you don’t want to be 25 and still working for a job that was just meant to cover your student life budget, right?

“Here’s to getting another rejection for a job I haven’t applied yet.”

“Another job opening, another possible rejection,” you say. You’re at the stage where you would rather send a word doc with “HIRE ME PLEASE” in Comic Sans, if you dare, instead of tailoring your resume and cover letter to the job description.

Look, rejection is a pain in the arse, but eventually, you’ll be on Struggle Street no longer. At the very least, you’re sending applications, which is better than nada. Keep persevering and don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang.

Ryan Bautista

Ryan is an Arts (Media, Culture and Technology) student at the University of New South Wales. Don’t @ him but pineapple belongs on pizza.

Image: Girls official Facebook page