Five Of The Worst Ever Sex Scenes, To Get You Ready For ’50 Shades Of Grey’
2015 is a way’s away. Here are a few ineffectual rollicks to tide you over.
Five Of The Worst Ever Sex Scenes, To Get You Ready For ’50 Shades Of Grey’
As you’re no doubt well aware, 50 Shades Of Gray — that film based on that book about BDSM, for those who have never engaged in BDSM — now has a full-length trailer. If your ideal man is a monosyllabic robot with his own helicopter and a secret chamber of erotic instruments (kind of a cross between Buffalo Bill and Patrick Bateman?), then this is the film for you!
Don’t get me wrong, a successful sex scene is in the pants of the beholder — but there are a few no-nos that can quickly turn a would-be titillating moment into a heinous betrayal of the very nature of suspension of disbelief. Sex is messy, and passion isn’t something you can fake or slather in a sheen, so when a director is more concerned with shooting performers from flattering angles — or two disconnected actors with no-nudity clauses are quite obviously feigning arousal — the results can be laughable at best.
So without further foreplay, here are five sex scenes that leave absolutely everything to be desired…
–
Words by Jeremy Cassar.