Movies and TV shows have been setting us up to fail, you guys.

Sure, we all know this. We know that we aren’t going to fall in love the way Katherine Heigl always does, but for some reason, all that rational thinking goes out the window come a first date. We have such high hopes.

Expectation: Love At First Sight 

Reality: He Really Doesn’t Look Like His Pictures

Since childhood, we’ve been taught to expect love at first sight. Prince Charming takes one look at Cinderella and her tiny feet and goes full stalker to find her. Jack takes one look at Rose and the next thing they’re banging in that car.

But it’s all lies: he’s not really 6”2 and you haven’t worn a bikini since 2014.

Your only option here? Go with the flow. Sure, this isn’t what you expected, but maybe you aren’t what they expected either. We probably aren’t ever going to have that love at first sight moment, so we may as well make the most of reality. 

Expectation: We Have So Much In Common! 

Reality: “So, Um, It’s Been Pretty Cold, Hey?” 

It’s an incredibly jolting moment when you realise that your life is not something written by Mindy Kaling. Sometimes, there’s no snappy dialogue, witty innuendo, or even flirty banter. Sometimes, it’s just you and your date, desperately clambering for something to talk about.

You know things have gotten really dismal when the dreaded weather chat comes into play. Yes, it really has been cold this winter. Yes, it probably is global warming. Yes, you would rather go and risk frostbite than sit at that table any longer.

It’s probably nobody’s fault, first dates are a lot of pressure to be interesting, so just take it easy and let the awkwardness numb your body.

Expectation: I Wonder What Our Future Holds? 

Reality: Ghosting

Sometimes that first date goes really well. The two of you have all the banter, your flirting was on point, and you decide to meet up soon again for more drinks! So, what does the future hold, and who will come to the wedding?

In comes ghosting. You’ve been left on read, all your recent posts have gone un-liked, and it’s like you never knew them at all. It’s so hard not to take it personally — particularly if you thought things went well — so let yourself mourn what could have been, then get right back out there. No ghost should stop you from dating!

Expectation: I Can’t Wait To Tell My Friends All About This!

Reality: How Do I Pretend This Never Happened? 

It’s pretty likely all your friends have already gotten a play by play of the preparation for this date. They know you’re out with a babe, they talked you off that ledge when you decided you “weren’t going” because your outfit looked horrible, and now they are anxiously awaiting the intel. What happened? Where they nice? Did you kiss? And you want to tell them nothing, because you’d rather pretend this never happened in the first place.

Sure, faking your own death seems like the logical course of action in this instance, but it’s probably too much effort. Anyway, your friends were probably there when you watched Gone Girl so they’d be onto you pretty fast. The best thing to do here, is just laugh about it with your mates. Let them share in the shear horror that was your date, you’ll feel better for it.

(Lead image: Mindy Project/FOX)