Politics

Please Enjoy Fiona Patten’s Utterly Perfect Reaction To Malcolm Roberts Getting Elected

Possibly the best press release ever.

Fiona Patten Malcolm Roberts

Sad news, folks — loosest of units Malcolm Roberts is returning to the Senate, thanks to Queensland. There’s very little bright side to this story, but there is one thing that might bring a glimmer of joy to your afternoon: Fiona Patten’s response, which is a work of art.

Fiona Patten, you’ll recall, is the leader of the Reason Party, formerly known as the Australian Sex Party. She’s an MP in the Victorian Parliament, but that didn’t stop her from sending out a press release responding to the Queensland federal election result.

And what a press release it was. “You’re f***ing kidding me right?” it reads. “I thought someone was having a joke with me! Not that climate-change denying, weirdo, conspiracy theorist.”

“What a dick.”

That’s it — the entire press release — but it says a lot with just a few words. Malcolm Roberts is indeed a climate change denying, weirdo conspiracy theorist. The One Nation senator has claimed, live on TV, that climate change is in fact a conspiracy, started by NASA. The space agency.

He has also compared himself to Socrates while delivering anti-dolphin rants in Parliament, called for Australia to punish New Zealanders living here, as a response to New Zealand condemning Israel’s illegal settlements on Palestinian territory, and suggested we water down gun laws.

So yeah, on this issue, Fiona Patten may well be “leader of reason”. She’s certainly leader of press releases.