Culture

A Deep Dive Into The Quirky Nonsense Ezra Miller Wore To The ‘Fantastic Beasts 2’ Premieres

Our new style icon dresses like a scary blow-up mattress.

by Patrick Lenton  16 November 2018
Ezra Miller in Fantastic Beasts 2 Premieres

Want more Junkee in your life? Sign up to our newsletter, and follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook so you always know where to find us.

The entire muggle world is talking about the new film set in the Harry Potter universe, Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald. Is it good? Is it bad? Is it problematic? Is it actually fucking with the canonical time-stream for no good reason? These are the questions everybody is asking, and honestly, who fucking cares? We should focus on Ezra Miller in Fantastic Beasts 2, and more importantly, what they wore to the premieres.

Related
It Looks Like 'The Crimes Of Grindelwald' Include Making A Film That Nobody Likes

You might know Ezra Miller as an actor. You might also know them as your child, and if so, I’d like to give a warm hello to Mrs Miller, and a big thank you for spawning such a nice child. But probably you know them from their roles as The Flash in all of DC’s worst films, or from the film The Perks of Being A Wallflower, in which I assume they are one of the titular wallflowers. Go dance! You’re only young once.

Anyway, they’re also in Fantastic Beasts 2, where they play the role of Credence Barebone, which honestly sounds like an unsafe type of sex that country music stars do. Cool!

So, Ezra Miller who is a famous actor wore some cool outfits to the Fantastic Beasts 2 premieres in London and Paris, and everyone is excited.

Let’s explore these looks.

The Very Scary Balloon Person

Let’s talk about this look.

A lot of people think this outfit is Miller’s interpretation of a Dementor, those evil happiness-sucking prison guards from Azkaban. I personally think this is Ezra Miller’s comment on trust-fund bros who wear puffy vests, who also suck the happiness out of people.

The main difference is that trust fund bros don’t have a job like Dementors.

I personally think it looks like a snake fucked a dildo, and is ribbed for our pleasure. It’s great.

Or maybe it’s like that creepy marshmallow ghost thing from Ghostbusters?

Anyway, I’m no fashion writer, but if I was I’d describe this look as bold, cumbersome, warm. From the top, it’s like a scary goth water-polo player, from the bottom, a hi-tech tent.

Very Cool Bird

Ezra Miller’s other costume is supposedly a homage to Hedwig, the bird who was killed. He is wearing feathers and has the killing curse on his hands, which is the method from which the famous owl was killed.

I like this one because they look like Bjork. They look like a sassy flamingo who delved into occultism. They look like Derek Zoolander as a character in The Lion King.

Birds! We should all dress like birds.

I’m no fashion writer, but I’d wear this outfit to a casual suburban barbecue, and flap my feathery cowl fiercely and spontaneously every time anything heterosexual happens. I’m no fashion writer, but this is the outfit I’d wear when I move into an old church and start eating mice.

Anyway, Ezra Miller is an icon and we should all aspire to be like them.

But wouldn’t it be great if they were in a really cool movie too?

So, when is Fantastic Beasts 2: The Crimes Of Grindelwald in cinemas? It’s in cinemas now, my good friend.