Every Housemate Falls Into One Of These 8 Categories
We all think we're not #2. But we probably are.
If you’ve moved out of home already then you’ll be familiar with the intricacies of negotiating share house living. It’s a delicate balance of having fun and trying to be respectful of everyone’s space.
You might think you and your housemates are unique, but we guarantee you all fit into one of these categories.
#1 The Dad
Every house needs at least one person who pays the bills, deals with the overly familiar real estate agent and changes the lightbulbs. They put together all the flat pack furniture when you moved in, and they got rid of the spider in the bathroom. The Dad is the housemate who takes responsibility for the stuff you just don’t want to do, and you love them for it. What a legend.
#2 The Mess
This person normally means well, but they just never seem to put anything away! They’ve been known to leave washing hanging on the line for days at a time, and have never been seen using a vacuum cleaner. It started in their own room, but now their clutter has spread through the rest of the house. The Mess is best confronted face to face; no one likes a passive aggressive message in the group chat.
#3 The Micro Manager
These people take organisation to the next level: making colour-coordinated charts about when to take the bins out and who’s turn it is to buy toilet paper. They’re a constant presence in the group chat, with ‘friendly reminders’ about hanging your towels up (looking at you, Mess) and using the right kind of washing powder. They can be great at keeping you tidy but sometimes you just wish they would chill a bit.
#4 The Night Owl
Are they alive? You’re not really sure. You last saw them making a coffee at 3pm a few days ago. Whether they work nights or stay up late studying, this person is basically nocturnal which means if you keep to a regular schedule you’ll hardly ever see or hear from them.
#5 The Wannabe Interior Decorator
We all love the homewares section of Kmart but this housemate takes it to the next level. Rose gold rules their life. The communal spaces in your house have become intensely curated shrines to their aesthetic, and God forbid you move anything from its place. At least until next week when they adopt a whole new theme. Animal print, anyone?
#6 The Tinder Aficionado
You’ve kind of gotten used to seeing this person bring home different gals or guys every weekend, and it’s no longer weird to run into a stranger in their undies on your way to the bathroom on a Saturday morning. This housemate has a constant stream of hookups, and honestly it’s impressive. As long as they’re quiet then let a thousand blossoms bloom.
#7 The Life Of The Party
You can count on this housemate to turn a couple of quiet beers into a wild night. They’re so full of energy and fun that its not until you’re carrying them out of the Uber, which you paid for, while they cry about their ex that you realise they’re actually a bit of a drain.
#8 The Chef
It’s a bit embarrassing making two-minute noodles, again, next to this housemate when they’re whipping up a masterpiece using every utensil and ingredient in the kitchen. It’s awesome when they’re willing to share, but otherwise the food envy is pretty real. As long as they tidy the kitchen afterwards then the chef is a valuable ally in your house.
(Lead image: The Other Guy/Stan)