Culture

Greg Hunt’s Somehow Been Named “Best Minister In The World” And Scott Ludlam’s Salty As Fuck About It

"It sounds like something his mum made up."

Environment Minister and anthropomorphised basset hound Greg Hunt has never been the government’s strongest performer. He oversaw the repeal of the carbon tax, did his damndest to gut the renewable energy sector by dismantling bodies like the Climate Commission, the Clean Energy Finance Corporation and the Renewable Energy Agency, and approved the dumping of 1.1 million cubic metres of dirt on the Great Barrier Reef to make way for the gargantuan Abbot Point coal mine expansion, an energy project that will spew out 130 million tonnes worth of carbon emissions during its lifetime.

In other words, as Environment Minister he’s been a bit shit, which makes the fact he’s just been named the inaugural “Best Minister in the World” by the World Government Summit in Dubai rather surprising.

The summit’s host, Ruler of Dubai Sheikh Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, said the award was given to Hunt “for his work reducing carbon emissions,” which makes you wonder if there’s some diligent Environment Minister from Albania or somewhere named Greg Hunt whose invitation got lost in the mail.

The news that Hunt is apparently the best government minister in the world came as something of a shock to virtually anyone who’s seen him at work from less than 12,000 kilometres away. Besides his abysmal environmental record, he’s best known for generally acting like an all-round numpty, citing Wikipedia as evidence that climate change doesn’t contribute to bushfires and writing his entire university thesis on the need for the same kind of market-based carbon price he would end up demolishing once in office.

His own Wikipedia page even briefly included an entry specifically describing him as “terrible at his job,” which is the one time Greg Hunt should regard Wikipedia as an authoritative source.

All of which has caught the attention of Greens Deputy Leader Scott Ludlam. The Greens, in general, have reacted incredulously to the news, but Ludlam has gone a step further, releasing ‘An Address to the Nation’ urging the government to make February 10 a national holiday in celebration of Hunt winning an award that “sounds like something his mum made up”.

It is probably the most gloriously bitchy piece of political content you will ever see.

“Our hope is that the statues built in Mr Hunt’s honour in every capital city will be placed far enough above sea level that generations to come can honour him.” Fucking savage.