‘Death Stranding’ Will Let You Weaponise Your Pee
Urine for a treat with this game!
Unlike that mean kindergarten teacher who kept ignoring you even though your hand was up for ages, it’s looking as though Mr Kojima will let you pee.
New gameplay footage of Kojima Productions’ highly anticipated video game Death Stranding was shown off at Gamescom overnight, introduced by incomprehensible video game sylph Hideo Kojima himself.
In the footage, Sam Bridges AKA Norman Reedus wakes up, makes a delivery, walks off a cliff, and soothes a baby trapped in a jar on his chest.
In typical Death Stranding fashion, the presentation provided more questions than answers, doing little to clarify the excited confusion surrounding the game.
We know that Sam is some sort of delivery person, the babies are “just equipment“, the game’s theme is connections and “strands”, and Mads Mikkelsen will be there. But why, how and what it all means is still a mystery.
There is one thing for certain, though: There will be pee.
The footage showed Sam facing away from the camera to pee in a field, turning away when the player tried in vain to see what this delivery man was packing. Once he was done, a large mushroom materialised where his stream had hit the ground.
Hinting at the online connectivity in Death Stranding, Kojima enigmatically stated that “something good will happen” if enough players pee in the same spot.
Kojima further indicated that urine can be used as a weapon in Death Stranding, though it’s unclear exactly how. It’s unlikely you’ll be able to steer your stream directly onto your enemies though, as whipping it out in front of computer-controlled characters won’t be supported.
Perhaps Death Stranding will take a page from Team Fortress 2. Players in that game can equip Sniper with The Jarate, which is literally just a jar of pee you throw at people.
wow, this death stranding gameplay really does look breathtaking. pic.twitter.com/QJQYwOBIJy
— 〽️ax krieger's big mood (@MaxKriegerVG) August 19, 2019
The fact that I can pee in Death Stranding and it has a countdown of how much pee is left in me pic.twitter.com/TBp2Zj3dvB
— Cliff Bleszinski (@therealcliffyb) August 19, 2019
Death Stranding (Kojima Productions, 2019) pic.twitter.com/c0q8mSadpG
— 🦌 Eden 🦌 (@edenadyk) August 19, 2019
In death stranding, the artist explores not only the dialectical relationship between bodies (and thus spaces), but also what it's like to shit a lot out of your doo doo ass
— chris person (@Papapishu) August 19, 2019
Nice to see that Death Stranding is implementing the best mechanics from another legendary game pic.twitter.com/HZxc44EUjw
— Krazy (@KrazyBonesTV) August 19, 2019
I will literally believe anything and everything you say if you say it after saying "In the new Death Stranding Trailer,"
— Aevee Bee (@MammonMachine) August 19, 2019
Video games are not unfamiliar with the occasional unexpected appearance of urine. The minigame ‘Toylets’ in Yakuza Kiwami 2 turns relieving oneself into a competitive sport, pitting the power of your pee against a computer-controlled opponent’s. Defecation has also gotten a log in, with characters in Ark: Survival Evolved not only able to drop a deuce, but then to pick it up and eat it.
Death Stranding probably won’t allow you to pull a Bear Grylls and slake your thirst with your own personal juice, but it says a lot about the brave new world of games that it isn’t completely off the table.
The game is scheduled for release November 8 on PlayStation 4.