Darren Hayes Was Pitched A Food Delivery Jingle Based On ‘Truly Madly Deeply’ And It’s Terrible

"I want to float with you in some cheese," is an actual lyric.

savage garden photo

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Darren Hayes of Savage Garden has taken to his Twitter to share a jingle pitched to him by a mysterious food company — and boy howdy it’s a mess.

The bizarre song adapts the lyrics of the Savage Garden hit ‘Truly Madly Deeply’ into something corporate-friendly and downright ridiculous. “I’ll bring you Greek, I’ll bring you French, I’ll bring you Japanese,” begins the ditty, a far cry from the original’s “I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy” (although limited kudos must be given for keeping the same vague rhyme scheme.)

The real howler is the chorus. Rather than the deeply romantic, instantly iconic central poetry of ‘Truly Madly Deeply’, this pitched version reads like this: “I want to stand with you on food mountain/I want to float with you in some cheese.

Float with you in some cheese? Goodness gracious. That sounds: A) impractical, and B) very messy.

Of course, the mere fact that Hayes shared the pitch on Twitter is a good indication that he’s not going to take the cash. Indeed, his caption makes that clear. “If you knew how much money I turn down and how hard I fight to protect your high school memories,” the singer wrote.

And yet the question remains — which advertising company did the pitching? Given the brand is clearly a food delivery service — the lines “I’m outside holding your food,” give that away instantly — the option set is fairly limited. Basically, it’s either Uber Eats or MenuLog. Given that the latter company is famous for recruiting musicians — their current ad campaign features Snoop Dogg singing a jingle about speedy delivery times — they seem like a fairly safe bet.

In any case, thank goodness that there are musicians out there willing to hold fast and stem the tide of corporate takeover, hey? Mind you, doesn’t sound too bad: