Daniel Radcliffe Has Finally Confronted The Fact He Is A Time-Travelling Old Woman
"What is it about me that I look like so many stern old ladies?"
The theory that Daniel Radcliffe is less of a 25-year-old actor and more of a shapeshifting immortal being who has been sipping on some weak polyjuice potion throughout history has been around for some time now.
Early last year, one Redditor discovered Radcliffe had lived a former life as his grandmother:
Another spotted him masquerading as a soldier at a gig in Manchester in the 1940s:
Then the floodgates really opened. The internet became awash with undeniable proof that the beloved Harry Potter actor had also been posing as a sex worker in the 1800s, a Beatle-haired teenager in 1978 and a stately older woman in a time where creepy oil portraits were the norm.
Now Jimmy Fallon has pressed him on the issue on The Tonight Show. “I don’t know how [I] did it!” Radcliffe joked, coyly. “What is it about me that I look like so many stern old ladies?” he said, laughing. Daniel. Mate. Give us the fucking time turner and we’ll drop the issue for good.
While we’re here, it’s worth noting that Radcliffe isn’t the only male celebrity suffering these accusations. This is the Illuminati’s greatest secret.
Judging by how defensive he was when talking about the whole thing with David Letterman in 2012, Nicolas Cage is almost certainly their ringleader.