Vaccine Chats, App Badges, And Awkward Convos: The Brave New World Of COVID Dating
“Being anti-vax is a turn-off for me and it’s not because I’m worried about getting COVID...I just see that our values don’t align."
As NSW and Victoria inch ever closer to easing restrictions for vaccinated citizens, the prospect of our own ‘Hot Vaxxed Summer’ is well and truly on the horizon.
No more gazing listlessly at dating app photos on a screen, or trying to smize at the hot person waiting in the coffee queue — it will soon be time to venture out into some new territory.
But as restrictions ease, case numbers inevitably rise, and the gulf between the vaccinated and unvaccinated growing ever wider, what will dating look like for the singles desperate to mingle?
Is Being Unvaccinated A Deal-Breaker?
Carolina De La Piedra is a Sydney-based DJ who has been surviving lockdown alone. Living in an ‘LGA of concern’ means she can’t consider potential partners beyond the aisles of her local supermarket, so ‘Freedom Day’ can’t come soon enough. “It’s really amplified for single people, this feeling of being alone in the world,” she told Junkee.
For Carolina, being vaccinated is very important — and it’s not just about being safe, it’s a sign of compatibility.
“If they’re not getting vaccinated because of health issues or have mistrust of the medical system and government because of a traumatic history, I can understand those views,” said Carolina. “But to be anti-vax and believe it’s about being microchipped, 5G and Bill Gates, it’s a no from me.
“It adds to this agenda that people who are anti-vax have never had to protest about anything in their lives because they are privileged. They’ve never had to see people dying from a preventable disease.”
Newly single woman Maddison Brennan-Mills, 26, agrees. “Being anti-vax is a turn-off for me and it’s not because I’m worried about getting COVID,” she told Junkee. “I just see that our values don’t align and it’s a good way to weigh up your options. The same goes for people who are racist or homophobic, I wouldn’t date them.”
While the big vax question is a good way to filter out the red flags from your dating pool, it’s also an important step before getting intimate or meeting up IRL for the first time — given the obvious health risks at play.
Going on a date without checking if someone is vaccinated or having casual sex, even with an N95 mask on, will still put you in a risky place of getting the virus and potentially spreading it to your loved ones. For some, it might feel intrusive to ask, but it shouldn’t be offensive.
Dating Apps Are Helping To Normalise The Conversation
Since July this year, dating apps like Bumble, Hinge, and Tinder have released vaccination badges and stickers. They were added after the businesses noticed an increase in ‘vaccinated’ or ‘vaxxed’ being added to dating profiles after users got the jab.
“Vaccinations have become a popular talking point on Tinder,” Papri Dev, senior director of Asia Pacific communications at Tinder, said in a recent statement. “Mentions of ‘vaccine’ in member bios in Australia increased by 220 percent comparing July 2021 to January 2021, and 30 percent between July 2021 and June 2021 — this is a new all-time high.”
When the badges and stickers launched, Brennan-Mills said they became a great ice breaker to help normalise the conversation around COVID-19 vaccinations.
“My bio says ‘double vaxxed, what a flex’ and I’ve got the vaccinated sticker on there too,” Brennan-Mills said. “On Hinge, I have a question that asks ‘what is one way to win me over?’ and my answer to that is ‘being vaxxed’. A lot of people have commented on it too and it’s a great conversation starter.”
While some people are vocal about their vaccination status and use tools like badges and stickers to indicate they’ve had the jab, some people prefer not to disclose — so for Carolina, it’s just about asking politely.
“I’m not going to un-match or swipe left on someone who doesn’t have the badge, but I don’t mind asking upfront either,” said Carolina. “I know people who are vaccinated and don’t have it on their profile but it’s definitely a topic of discussion I would bring up and then make my decision whether I want to meet up.”
COVID is affecting every person in one way or another so the vax question could help us to ‘consciously date’, moving beyond the good looks and in some ways forcing us to get to know potential partners better and much earlier on. For Maddison, this is something she’s already started to do.
What About Outside Of Dating Apps?
Asking the question through a dating app is one thing, but how do you ask someone in the real world?
Carolina’s approach is to “slip it into the conversation really casually and if they get offended by it, it will show you their stance on it”.
“I recently matched with a guy and asked if he has been vaccinated and he said ‘yeah, I’m waiting for my second dose’ and then asked if I was vaccinated and I said, ‘yeah I’m double vaxxed’,” she said. “It shouldn’t be something you get offended by, it’s just a checkpoint really.”
Maddison is more or less the same: “[I gauge] what their thoughts are on the topic by asking something like ‘what do you think about COVID vaccinations?”
“It shouldn’t be something you get offended by, it’s just a checkpoint really.”
If you’re wondering how soon is too soon to ask, well that comes down to how comfortable you feel — but some people have compared the jab conversation to ‘asking someone on a first date if they have an STD’. We know the impact of COVID is much worst, that’s why Carolina saves time by asking upfront.
“This virus is more dangerous than most STDs,” she said. “You can treat STDs and they only affect you (and obviously anyone else you’ve slept with). But you’re not going to go to your parents’ or grandma’s house and give them genital herpes, but you could potentially give them the virus.”
If you have just met someone and don’t feel comfortable bringing the topic up (or think they’re a bit suss), take a page out of Maddison’s book and avoid the awkwardness altogether. “Take them to a place that requires vaccination upon entry, that way you’ll know,” she said.
It will be a while yet before we know just how much the pandemic has impacted our dating lives — but here’s hoping a hot vaxxed summer is on the way. And if you haven’t booked in for your jab yet, what are you waiting for? And if you want some pointers about getting back in the dating game, Bumble’s put together a quick guide.
Remember, just be safe.
Tahnee Jash is an Aboriginal/Fijian-Indian journalist based in Sydney who enjoys writing about health and wellbeing, among other things. You can find her on Twitter @tahneejash.