Cory Bernardi Has Won A Senate Inquiry Into Halal Food And Goshdarnit, People Still Aren’t Taking Him Seriously
GUYS. STOP. THIS IS IMPORTANT.
Okay, folks. The budget is old news. We’ve heard enough about the deregulation of higher education and an underfunded domestic violence epidemic; it’s time to get down to the serious issues.
Yesterday afternoon, South Australian Liberal Senator and real-life Chicken Little Cory Bernardi was granted a senate inquiry into the certification of halal, kosher, organic and genetically-modified food. The motion was passed with a senate vote of 34-30, and as a result Bernardi will soon be leading a six-month investigation into the financial records of these organisations.
Anyone familiar with the jacked-up swamp fight that is conservative politics in this country can tell you that this has been a long time coming. Bernardi himself has been consistently outspoken about his suspicions about halal certification in particular, publicly labelling it a “racket” and questioning who exactly is getting the profits from these specialty products. Though he hasn’t explicitly made any accusations, the view propagated by other reasoned intellectuals such as Pauline Hanson and Jacqui Lambie is that the money is somehow funnelled towards terrorist organisations.
“There seems to be a number of concerns about [these schemes],” Bernardi told The Guardian. “I keep getting told any number of things … and I don’t know what’s true and what’s not true, so I want to establish the facts.”
And yet despite this show of political support for his controversial thoughts, which have in the past seen him quite literally banished from government, he’s still suffering a considerable public backlash.
Halal inquiry, wind turbine inquiry, school chaplains… This is a government based on superstition. #auspol
— Mark Humphries (@humphriesmark) May 13, 2015
Whether it’s because the inquiry sounds a little like an idea your racist granddad once had when awaking from a fever dream, or because people like ABC Fact Check have already looked into halal certification and said there’s nothing to be concerned about, people are being weirdly dismissive of this whole thing.
Govt's Budget Week coms strategy: ✅ Start argument: Are Australian mums rorters? ✅ Halal Inquiry ✅ Threaten celebrity pets ✅ Ignore future
— Tim Watts (@TimWattsMP) May 13, 2015
Hearing the halal certification inquiry is just Cory Bernardi yelling "ISIS!!!" into the open windows of abattoirs
— j.r. hennessy (@jrhennessy) May 13, 2015
Bernardi wins Senate support to set-up an inquiry to find out what halal is, if he's ever had it even by accident and does it make him gay??
— mat whitehead (@matwhi) May 13, 2015
Coming soon: a senate inquiry into why horses won’t wear clothes — is it because they’re terrorists? https://t.co/VztGEz8JUc
— Jeff Sparrow (@Jeff_Sparrow) May 13, 2015
Senate inquiry into what the tooth fairy did with your teeth
— Alex Lee (@alex_c_lee) May 13, 2015
Like, a lot of people:
Hey @corybernardi my cat horked something onto the carpet. It’s hairy and might support terrorism. Can I have inquiry?
— Kristy K Fox (@kkfox78) May 13, 2015
Senate inquiry into bikkies that briefly become Jesus
— Dan Smith (@sirdansmith) May 13, 2015
Senate inquiry into Cory Bernardi's abs
— Casey Briggs (@CaseyBriggs) May 13, 2015
Government inquiry into why Anzac cookies from woolies are sometimes soft and sometimes hard.
— Mark Di Stefano (@MarkDiStef) May 13, 2015
Is this the first senate inquiry inspired by boomer email forwards?
— Matt Burke (@matttburke) May 13, 2015
Government inquiry on why VB tastes so good in stubbies and yet, so bad in cans.
— Mark Di Stefano (@MarkDiStef) May 13, 2015
Senate inquiry into the melting point of steel beams NOW.
— Ben Jenkins (@bencjenkins) May 13, 2015
Just file this under Reasons Not To Listen Cory Bernardi/Pay Attention To Politics At All, thanks. As you were.
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Feature image via Cory Bernardi/YouTube.