Please Enjoy This Video Of Channing Tatum Getting Extremely Angry With An Astrology App
If you've ever been uncomfortably seen by an astrology app, Channing Tatum is with you.
Channing Tatum has it pretty good, all things considered.
He’s been in a string of American masterpieces that made a lot of money (shout out Magic Mike and Magic Mike XXL, objectively two perfect films). He’s been nominated America’s Sexiest Man more times than most people. He has a big house, and a fulfilling relationship with Jessie J, and he’s so rich that he need only work when he feels like it.
But despite all that, Tatum is proof that, no matter how good your life is — no matter how much money you might have — there is nothing that can inure you to the sheer horror of being seen by an astrology app.
Yep, turns out celebrities truly are just like us, and that the experience of being driven into a rage because Co-Star or The Pattern have said something mean really is universal.
It’s the latter app, a relatively recent star sign reader that trades the exact time of the user’s birth for a shedload of (very personal) facts about them, that Tatum has beef with. The spat itself began this morning, when the distinctly unnerved actor, tongue firmly in his cheek, took to Twitter with a filmed monologue and a plea for his followers to help him out.
“I need some answers,” the actor begins. “But what is this Pattern shit?
“It’s an app. I just downloaded it, and it asked me to put in my time of birth. By the way — how the hell do you know your time of birth?”
But then, increasingly flapped, Tatum cut to the chase, with a single, potent question.
“How the hell do you know what you know about me, Pattern? … I was just in therapy yesterday … and I get a notification on my phone this morning. Pops up, and uses the exact words that we were using in therapy.”
Really, the whole video is worth your time — feast your eyes on it in full below. And next time you get baffled by some astrology app, picture Tatum’s perfectly round head, bellowing with you in solidarity.
Yo anybody know of this shit and can explain it to me! Cause WTF! pic.twitter.com/4Qhp6gj7IU
— Channing Tatum (@channingtatum) July 12, 2019