Music

We Are Sorry To Inform You That The Chainsmokers Are Making A Movie

Maybe this means they'll make less music?

The Chainsmokers — the EDM frat boys fond of inspirational Tumblr posts and completely vacuous stadium-filling music — are making moves outta music and into movies, adapting one of their songs into a feature film.

Specifically, ‘Paris’, their 2017 hit that ticks all The Chainsmokers clichés — a vague ‘us vs. them’ narrative with generic hooks perfect for 20-year-olds drinking from red cups and taking polaroids at a house party while their parents are away at Cape Cod for the weekend. As reported by The Hollywood Reporter, the duo — Andrew Taggart and Alex Pall — are producing the film, while Mickey Rapkin, who wrote the book that Pitch Perfect was loosely based upon.

It’s the first deal made by The Chainsmokers’ new company, Kick The Habit Productions, which means they’re planning to do this sort of thing more often. As some of the highest paid DJs in the world, they have the money to back it.

“We are beyond thrilled to have launched Kick The Habit Productions as we continue to bridge the gap between our overall artistic vision, the entertainment industry as a whole and our fans,” the duo said in a joint statement. “The age of being only a musician is over and we’re excited to go all-in on this venture to curate, produce and create meaningful projects.”

Little is known about the film itself at this stage, so let’s wildly speculate. We’re going to suggest Paris be set in a nondescript flyover state college, as to not alienate either a Democratic or Republican audience. Either that or Paris, Texas. Oh God, it’s almost definitely going to be set in Paris, Texas.

And the plot? Becky (Bella Thorne) is a savvy EDM goth with an adderall addiction who develops feelings, despite her best judgement, for quarterback Shawn (Scott Eastwood). After he’s forced to take gender studies to keep his scholarship (?), Becky tutors Shawn, but she’s the one who ends up learning to not judge a book by its cover. But can the two lovers live in the real world, where their social circles don’t mix?

When the pressures get too much, and Shawn’s alcoholic dad (Woody Harrelson) lashes out at his ‘feminazi’ son, the two break their Spring Break savings and book one-way flights to Paris. But, just like Becky’s wrist tattoo says, every bubble has to burst.

They even have the perfect tagline, ripped straight from the song’s chorus: “If we go down then we go down together”. Best of luck boys.