Our 20s are a turbulent time for friendships. We lose some, we gain some, and then we lose lots more.

Most of the time, it’s for the better. This decade is for growing older, learning things and forming opinions about stuff. It’s only natural that friends we made as pre-teens don’t grow along with us.

We’ve spoken a lot about drifting away from your friends on Uni Junkee. Mostly because it happens so much, and it never feels good. But I personally think we all need to try a little harder. Not in the sense that you should keep in contact with every rando in 5th period science, but make an effort to hold onto those gems you really had a connection with.

What’s So Bad About High School Friends Anyway?

In school, I feel like I met “the ones”. By this, I mean the two best friends I wanted to stick with forever. And five years, two uni degrees, a tafe course and countless jobs later, we’re still going strong. We’re in three wildly different careers and hold differing opinions on a load of stuff, but it’s still golden. And I suspect, with lots of effort on all of our parts, it will be for a long time.

But the world makes it seem like you’ve somehow not tried enough if you’re still close with your high school friends. Like you’re a loser for holding on to something you should have let go of long ago. I call bullshit. If anything, having friends from high school shows you’ve made a commitment and you can stick with something. To me, that’s way more impressive than jumping between friend circles.

It Takes A Little Effort

The other major thing about our 20s that causes friendships to disintegrate is how overwhelmingly busy it gets. We have to get super selfish to start succeeding in various pursuits, and our social life really cops it.

But setting aside some time for your friends is always worth it. These people knew you when you were tiny and silly and got really embarrassing haircuts. They watched One Tree Hill with you, and drank multiple cans of UDL. They’re not people you can give up without a fight.

We’re Gonna Be Old And Wrinkly One Day

I think a lot about what will happen when I’m old, which is why I spend an outrageous amount of money on skincare. But it’s also why I hold this opinion about friendships.

Sure, a romantic partner is great to have in old age. But what about a really old friend? A BFF in the very real sense of the “F”?

Investing in your friendships is like putting money away for retirement. A little sacrifice now will help a lot way down the track.

That’s my two cents, anyway.

(Lead image: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants/Alcon Entertainment)