Campus

The Captions We’re Sick Of Seeing In Graduation Posts

C'mon, we can do better than these.

We’re currently in the midst of graduation season, which means you’ll no doubt come across a flood of graduations posts.

This tasseling time of year might make you feel extremely proud – look at your friends go! – or even a little jealous – erghh, I still have another year of this dumb degree. Or it could make you anxious about your own future – all these business graduates are sure looking a lot more employable than my anthropology-majored self!

However it makes you feel, this time of year does guarantee one thing: an onslaught of graduation posts with captions you’ve heard a million times before.

So please, read on and feel your eyes roll into the back of your head as we visit the ones we are very, very sick of hearing.

Thanks For This Very Expensive Piece Of Paper, [Insert Uni]!

Yes, it’s true — the piece of paper you were just handed did cost you a lot of money. Student debt is real and no one is saying otherwise. What we are saying is that there are plenty of other ways to cry about your HECS Debt online and besides, you worked bloody hard for that piece of paper – be proud of it!

Brace yourself, non-graduating folk, because this “expensive piece of paper” line will be thrown around A LOT. In captions, in comments in captions, and even in…god forbid…real life.

Thank You Wikipedia And Google For Getting Me Here

This one is for those who worked their ass off for damn degree but don’t want you to know about it.

C’mon. You’re not fooling us. Anyone who actually attended a university tute will know that Wikipedia references will send you straight to the dog house.

I’m not saying Wikipedia wasn’t helpful in getting you over the line — especially when you just needed a summary of the Cold War stat — but it’s less deserving of a social media shout out than other things, like say, the uni bar, or your mum.

ConGRADuations Becky, I’m So Proud Of You!

This one comes from a friend or relative who’s usually snagged a photo with the gown-wearing star of the day. They want you to know that although they aren’t being handed any pieces of paper today, they are full of sick puns and equally deserving of your Instagram likes.

Thanks For Three Years Of Group Assignments And Presentations I’ll Never Get Back!

Oh hey, negative Nancy. You’ve bought a nice outfit, put on a very cool wizard-like gown, are bathing in attention from friends and family, and yet still want to complain about those group assignments.

We get it. Group assignments suck. Move on.

Breaking up with university life is a big deal and you should want to shout your achievements from rooftops (or in a nicely edited Instagram post). All I’m saying is use those newly developed brain cells to stop rehashing the same captions in circulation and add a personal or creative spark to it.

Oh, and before I forget, conGRADulations on your degree! Ha ha! What a hypocrite.

(Lead image: The OC/Warner Bros)