Cadbury Have Announced A Vegemite-Flavoured Chocolate Because Australia Is Now Beyond Parody

We're done. See ya.

Last month a post surfaced on Reddit with a picture of what appeared to be a Vegemite-flavoured Cadbury block. And, confronted with what could reasonably be perceived as the first sign of the coming apocalypse, people scrambled for answers.

Some suggested it could be an April Fools gag, others called the company’s customer service centre demanding further information, and a writer at Buzzfeed practically launched a full investigation badgering Cadbury so many times the PR reps started calling him “bud”.

Now, all our worst fears have been confirmed. Look upon it and weep for all that is good and holy is now lost.

Set to launch June 1, the new flavour seems to come as part of a Frankenstein strategy where Cadbury brainstorm chocolate pairings with whatever weird shit they have lying around the factory break room. Chocolate and avocado? Lol why not? Chocolate and corn chips? Ha, fuck the world!

This, the mixing of salt-flavoured yeast tar with chocolate, also doubles as a handy reinforcement of every weird thing the world thinks about us. Might as well accept it all, start admitting we all ride kangaroos to work, and getting used to the real flag.


Are you happy now, Cadbury?