This Story About About A Man Using A Garden Hose To Break Into A Bunnings Is Peak Australia

A few times in life, the words “this is the most Aussie news story ever” will leave your mouth.

We said it in 2015 when a man was fined $1,476 for riding a motorised esky around without a license. It happened again in 2016 when a man “busted his plugger” while foiling a robbery at a servo after a “stubbies and singlets” party. And who can forget OG Aussie “criminal” Mr. Democracy Manifest, who was arrested while trying to enjoy a succulent Chinese meal?

But ladies and gentleman, we’ve done it. We’ve finally reached peak Australian criminal activity because a man has genuinely robbed a Bunnings store by descending from the roof using a garden hose instead of a rope in a beautiful bogan remake of Mission Impossible.

In a plea to find any information about the burglary, the Western Australia Police Force released CCTV footage that showed a masked man breaking into Harrisdale Bunnings during the early hours of July 5.

Captioning the video “PARKOUR!”, the video showed the robber entering the store via the ceiling after swapping out the humble rope for a rubber garden hose at 4am.

Using the hose to rappel onto the shelving units below, the Bunnings bandit walked around the store to collect his stolen items before trying to use the hose to exit the same way.

However, after getting caught off guard by some employees, the masked man grabbed his stolen goods, ditched the hose and sprinted out via the emergency exit.

But the funniest part about this whole thing? After all that effort and MacGyvering, the robber only got away with about $200 worth of power tools.

Well he more than beat the price by 10%

— Shane Rayment (@RaymentShane) July 15, 2021

While stealing is bad and all, this whole debacle has really just left people with two questions on their minds: Which brand makes that indestructible hose? And what aisle did the Bunnings bandit find it in?