All The Baffling ‘Bridgerton’ Moments That Live Absolutely Rent-Free In My Mind
If The Duke wasn't so over-dramatic when he was pulling out, he could've continued nutting in tissues.
Despite being released less than a month ago, Regency romance Bridgerton has already managed to become one of Netflix’s most popular original series — and it’s easy to see why.
Based on Julia Quinn’s best-selling novels and produced by Grey’s Anatomy’s Shonda Rhimes, Bridgerton focuses on the powerful eight-sibling Bridgerton family as they navigate through the 1813 social season where Daphne, the eldest daughter, makes her debut into society.
Determined to find Daphne a husband during her first season, the Bridgerton family are thrown in and out of scandal as an anonymous gossip newsletter starts to slowly unveil the secrets of the town. Penned by the anonymous and elusive ‘Lady Whistledown’, Bridgerton is basically somewhat of a ye olde Gossip Girl.
Warning: Spoilers, of course.
Of course, the series is not just about Daphne and her determination to marry. There’s also the Featherington family, who run into their own issues when Marina Thompson, a distant cousin harbouring a secret pregnancy out of wedlock, arrives in the family home for the season.
While only a short (but sweet) eight-episode season, Bridgerton manages to pack a lot into its first season, considering there are a total of eight novels in Quinn’s series.
But between the super hot Duke of Hastings being just so incredibly hot and horny, and Eloise Bridgerton’s sheer determination to pinpoint the identity of Lady Whistledown, there were a lot of baffling moments and unanswered questions the series left us with.
Fuckboys in 1813 pic.twitter.com/OFFcs1U54q
— Melissa Mason (@_melissamason_) January 13, 2021
So let’s breakdown the strangest Bridgerton moments that we need explained ASAP:
First, what happened to the very expensive diamond necklace that Daphne left on the bridge?
Quick Bridgerton question: Daphne left the Prince's necklace on a bridge & no one ever mentioned it again?? Did some lucky cater waiter cash it in and make a run to Italy?
— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) December 27, 2020
In episode four, Prince Friedrich gifts Daphne with a diamond necklace to prove his love.
At the time, everyone makes a big deal out of the expensive gift, with Daph’s mum even urging her to not wear the necklace to the ball in fear of giving the wrong message. But when she dramatically runs from the dance floor just as the Prince is about to propose, Daphne just ripped it off and left it on a random bridge?
Where the hell is the necklace? And why does seemingly no one care that the iced out necklace is missing? Why didn’t the Prince ask for his jewellery back when the proposal fell through? Also surely, if Cressida knew the Duke and Daphne went on the ~Dark Walk~ together, she could’ve pocketed the necklace for herself or used it as a way to blackmail them? Instead, literally nothing came from it.
Similarly, why do these horny debuts keep going to the same cursed spot to kiss?
Man and woman in a period piece: meet
— Dr. Arushi Agrawal 🙅🏻♀️ (@corgarushi) December 30, 2020
For a random patch of garden to literally earn the title of ‘Dark Walk’, a whole lot of horny people have to be frequenting the area regularly. But this begs the question of why so many people keep going on the ‘Dark Walk’ to make out, especially when they know the reputation it has.
I know that fornicating, and smaller things like literally just touching hands is frowned upon, but surely you could just sneak out at night and fuck instead. You have the same ramifications if you’re caught on the Dark Walk anyway, so might as well make the whole experienced a little more comfortable and well-lit.
Also, how is kissing frowned upon but The Duke and Daphne constantly fucking in public is fine?
— lindsay (@richeclipsee) December 27, 2020
In order to even kiss or hold hands without gloves, a couple needs to be wed. However, even married couples are rarely seen kissing at balls or luncheon events.
If everyone is expected to be so innocent even after marriage, then how come no one bats an eye when Daphne and The Duke literally spend their honeymoon fucking everywhere — including in public.
I mean, The Duke and Duchess of Hastings basically spend the entire sixth episode fucking. Fucking on library ladders, boning by rivers and bonking in fields. Hell, when the pair return to London, the Duke literally eats Daphne out on the stairs of a mansion.
So does a wedding ring give a free pass for public acts of indecency? Because the Duke and Daphne sure make it seem that way.
Why did The Duke make pulling out so obvious every single time?
I finally finished #Bridgerton and I just need to point out that had Simon not been so over-dramatic with his pull out, he could have kept shit low.
— Naima Cochrane (@naima) January 16, 2021
A major storyline in Bridgerton was that The Duke had vowed to his father that he would never sire an heir.
This caused tension between Daphne and The Duke because despite saying she was fine without kids, Daphne’s dream was always to have children of her own. As a result of Daphne’s total cluelessness about sex and how babies are actually made, this led to a questionable sex scene when she discovered the truth after inspecting The Duke’s jizz in a tissue.
But none of this would’ve happened if The Duke was a little bit more calm about his need to cum into a tissue. Why not just cum on the bed or on Daphne’s body? Or, better yet, how about not being a lazy grub and actually throwing your cum-filled tissues in the bin? Just a thought.
How exactly did Lord Featherington get murdered in a house full of people?
In the season finale, it was revealed that Lord Featherington’s crippling gambling addiction had finally caught up with him when he was murdered by some displeased bookkeepers.
After betting the deed to his house on a rigged fight, the bookies lured Lord Featherington into a room where he was killed, leaving his estate into new hands as there were no sons in the Featherington home.
But how exactly does a man get killed in a party full of people without eyebrows getting raised? I never really liked the man, but damn. Surely someone would’ve seen something going on even if he did deserve what he got.
Who was the random grey-haired man Siena wound up with?
At the end of the first season of Bridgerton, Anthony was left heartbroken when opera singer and his on-and-off again beau, Siena, refused his invitation to Daphne’s ball.
Clearly in love but from different worlds that were never compatible, the pair’s secret relationship came to a close when Siena chose herself — or rather chose a man who she could rely on. But it’s never explained who this random grey-haired man is or even where he came from.
Most women who do something as small as kiss before marriage are shunned by society, and yet Siena managed to bag a man who was seemingly fine with her sleeping with Viscount Bridgerton? Honestly, power to her.
Why did Madame Genevieve Delacroix pretend to be French?
As the Featherington’s continued to struggle with their money problems, dressmaker Madame Delacroix reached a point where she could no longer make the family garments until their debts had been settled.
However, her mind swiftly changed when Marina called out Madame Delacroix’s fake French accent. But what did Genevieve even have to gain from pretending to be French? Sure, it likely made her seem like a much fancier seamstress, but it’s clear she had enough talent to attract and maintain business from the town’s most prestigious families anyway.
The French charade makes even less sense when you also remember that Benedict told Eloise that Madame Delacroix had left London for a “short trip back to France”, shattering his sister’s leading Lady Whistledown theory.
How exactly did Penelope print her newsletter while she was attending events?
— cece🇬🇾🇺🇸 (@celimabeans) January 15, 2021
During the final ball of the season, one of the Queen’s workers shared the plan to capture Lady Whistledown with Eloise.
“We worked out that Whistledown delivers her missives to a printer’s press on Lombard Street, all while the rest of society is distracted by big events, like this one,” he overshared with Eloise.
However, there was a glaring plot hole that was totally ignored in this discovery — Penelope often attended these events (bar the Queen’s luncheon), so how was she able to constantly sneak away to the printing press, and go totally unnoticed, while all dolled up? Also, if the Featherington’s were so broke thanks to their gambling father, how was Penelope able source the funds to start printing in the first place? Sounds fishy to me.
And if Lady Whistledown made so much money, why didn’t Penelope use the cash to help her family?
#Bridgerton thoughts (SPOILERS). If lady whistledown got so rich off of the papers, why didnt penelope use that money to get her family out of financial difficulty?
— A (@ikkaramos) January 17, 2021
In episode 4, Eloise Bridgerton called Lady Whistledown “a brilliant woman of business who fools the entire ton, whilst pocketing their money” while chatting to Penelope, implying that the column makes a fair bit of cash.
Considering this was said mid-way through the season and that Lady Whistledown’s newsletter only got more and more popular as the days went on, one can assume it raked in a considerable about of money. So it’s quite strange that Penelope didn’t use any of this money to help out her struggling family, which could have even potentially saved Lord Featherington from his death.
Above all else, what the fuck was going on with all the sideburns?
The men in Bridgerton look like the Jonas brothers if they were magicians pic.twitter.com/0gYDL4udTe
— Anthony Troli (@AnthonyTroli) January 8, 2021
Look, I don’t really care whether they were historically accurate for the time period. The sideburns are disgusting.
You can stream ‘Bridgerton’ on Netflix now.
Michelle Rennex is a senior writer at Junkee. She tweets at @michellerennex.