Culture

Bob Katter Thinks That Canberra Is “Unfriendly” And “Soulless” And He Wants Everyone To Know It

People in Canberra aren't too happy about it.

by Sinead Stubbins  15 August 2016

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Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be Bob Katter for a day. To be a 71-year-old man who gets around in a cowboy hat, doing and saying mad things — you know, like believing super homophobic stuff and also pretending to shoot his opponents in his campaign ads —  and being genuinely surprised when this shit-stirring behaviour has negative repercussions.

Today Bob Katter executed a troll so masterful and complete, that it makes me think that this whole thing is just one big performance piece and that maybe nothing is real. In an interview with the Canberra Times that was posited as his “review” of 24 years in Canberra, Bob spent most of the article listing his grievances with our nation’s capital, and claimed that he dislikes Canberra so much, that he prefers to stay “across the border” at the 3.5-star Comfort Inn International Airport hotel in Queanbeyan. Bob Katter hates Canberra so much that he even hates it in his sleep.

Then, just to reiterate this point, Bob posted the article on both his Twitter and Facebook page and was careful to mention again that he really, really does: “find it unfriendly, people don’t smile and laugh at each other and if you crack a joke people look at you like you’re a martian”. Bob Katter finds the concept of people not liking him enough to smile at him absolutely bloody baffling!

He does have one caveat though: “But the Raiders are a beaut team and I recommend La Dolce Vita Italian restaurant in Kingston”. Canberra: bad people who don’t laugh at your cracker jokes, good pasta but.

So just to recap: according to Bob, Canberra is terrible — except for the Raiders and La Dolce Vita Italian restaurant in Kingston, those things are okay by Bob. While taking time out of their busy schedules of allegedly looking at Bob Katter like he’s a martian, Canberra folk have taken to Twitter to dispute his harsh review.

Even though Bob Katter loves to talk about how terrible Canberra is, he very selflessly admits that he needs to stay for the sake of Australian politics. “The team needs me,” he says. “I’m the only one screaming that the emperor’s in an invisible suit of clothes.” What a guy.