Ranking The Cast Of ‘Bling Empire’, From Least Annoying To Red Power Ranger Andrew
Christine may be chaotic, but Andrew is truly chaotic evil.
If you like drama and money, you’ve probably already watched Netflix’s latest hit Bling Empire, the reality show that follows the lives of uber-rich Asian socialites residing in Los Angeles.
And if you’ve watched Bling Empire then you definitely have some strong opinions on the cast. For example, if you’re anything like me, you’re probably still mad at Kim for the whole penis pump situation and can’t stop thinking about whether Kevin was ever actually as poor as his “I have no money :(” shtick made him out to be.
I know it’s not nice to judge and all, but when you spend eight episodes watching rich people bicker over the most trivial things it’s hard not to. In some cases (*cough* Anna *cough*) these first-world problems can be hilarious, and in others (*ahem* Christine *ahem*) they can just be downright annoying.
So, after dedicating some eight or so hours of my life to this show, I’ve decided to do a definitive ranking of the Bling Empire cast members by just how annoying they are:
bling empire characters ranked:
– baby g
– anna shay
– everyone else
– anyone who appeared on the show for even 1 second
— bettina makalintal (@bettinamak) January 18, 2021
12. Anna Shay
Everyone can agree Anna Shay is an icon and one of the only people on the show who isn’t annoying as hell.
In any other situation, reading “daughter of an arm’s dealer with a net worth of $600 million” on paper would usually make a person instantly insufferable, but not Anna Shay. Despite having so much money, Anna is the definition of old money and doesn’t go out of her way to flaunt her wealth like some other cast members on this list.
She treats her friends extremely well, knocks out walls in her wardrobe while wearing ballgowns, she has no fucks to give and has no time for petty drama, and she’s easily got the best one-liners on Bling Empire.
Annoying level: 0/10
11. Baby G and Dr Gabriel Chiu
After icon Anna Shay, the next best parts of Bling Empire are Christine’s baby and her husband.
Normally I’d find a baby annoying, but Baby G is very chunky, fashionable as hell, and unbelievably cute, and Dr Chiu just seems like he has a good vibe all the time. Plus, the Chiu family tried for ages to have Baby G, so to see their lil’ miracle baby bouncing around is pretty damn cute.
Perhaps Baby G and Dr Chiu also rank so highly because they’re only really ever on screen with Christine, and that juxtaposition of energies is just so extreme.
Annoying level: 0.5/10
10. Cherie Chan
Cherie is so cute and bubbly. She is adorable. She’s like the female, adult version of Baby G.
But Cherie is also annoying for one reason, and one reason alone: The fact that she proposed to her now-fiancé Jessey instead of just leaving his ass. Cherie gave Jessey so many hints and opportunities to propose, and her man just refused to pick up on any of them.
God, after having two whole kids with the man, she embarrassed herself by proposing to him at her son’s 100 Day party, and he didn’t even have the guts to say the word yes!! I would simply rather die than go through that!!!!!!! Cherie, girl, wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Annoying level: 2/10
9. Kane Lim
Kane is sweet, and throughout the majority of Bling Empire, he’s rarely ever annoying.
He causally gives Kevin his designer clothes to wear, he seems to be friendly with the entire cast, and he never really makes anyone feel bad despite his parents being wealthier than the majority of the people on the show.
However, it was super irritating to watch Kane and Kevin take the private investigator’s information and go hunt down Kim’s dead dad in another state without her permission — and I don’t even really like Kim anyway. Sure, she was “happy” they found out what they did, but if that was me, I’d be pissed off for weeks.
Annoying level: 2.5/10
8. Jamie Xie
No offence to Jamie, but the girl is boring. You know those people who’s entire personality is based on fashion, sorta like a walking clothes hanger? That’s Jamie.
Honestly, her only personality trait and storyline on the show is spending money and “doing Instagram”, and we don’t even get to see her do that much of either of those things anyway. I don’t know… at 22 and as the daughter of a literal billionaire, you’t think Jamie would be the most fun cast member on Bling Empire, but instead it just feels very meh.
Annoying level: 3/10
7. Kelly Mi Li
All Kelly does is keep going back to Andrew, which makes her irritating as hell.
No matter how many times Andrew showed he was controlling, a gaslighter, and just terrible for her, Kelly continued returning to him. And now with the latest Bling Empire cast update, we know for certain that Kelly and Andrew are unfortunately back together. (Sad!)
But even more annoying than going back to Andrew was Kelly’s constant lying about going back to him! She acted so hurt when Kevin told the group that she and the Red Power Ranger™️ were back together, and for some reason just kept denying it when we all knew damn well that the bonking never stopped.
Annoying level: 4/10
6. Guy Tang
Guy’s only storyline was throwing Anna’s penis pump out the window. And that was annoying as fuck. You genuinely could’ve cut all of Guy’s parts from the show and nothing would’ve changed. Next.
Annoying level: 4.5/10
5. Jessey Lee
Damn, Jessey. Is it really that hard to propose to the mother of your children, or pick up any of the 73 hints she’s left you over the last four years you’ve been dating?
The simple fact that Cherie had to propose because Jessey refused to makes him very annoying in my eyes. But even more irritating than not proposing himself, is that he barely even accepted Cherie’s proposal anyway.
What kind of response is “you deserve what every girl deserves and more” when you wouldn’t propose to her?! Did she not deserve a ring and more?! Ugh, in the bin.
Annoying level: 6/10
4. Kevin Kreider
Yes, Kevin is very, very hot. But Kevin is also very, very annoying.
I know that Kevin was brought along to be the everyman of the show, but I struggle to believe he has no money — even though he denies that he’s worth the $10 million that most publications are reporting.
Every second sentence he said on Bling Empire was about how he ~had no money~! And how it was ~so crazy to see how the rich live~! Like, I’m sorry sir, you cannot be living in a “$1,000/month share house” and be mingling at expensive-ass parties that Rodeo Drive is literally shut down for. The jig is up! We don’t believe you Mr Moneybags!
Plus, his strange obsession with Kelly, and that weird date they had, went from endearing to creepy real quick, so he gets a few more annoying points for that, too.
Annoying level: 7/10
3. Christine Chiu
As annoying as Christine is, she is an icon — and a well-dressed one at that.
Just like Christine from Selling Sunset, Christine from Bling Empire is low-key evil, but is entertaining as hell. Christine Chiu’s obsession with trying to show up Anna Shay and flex her jewellery, when Anna simply doesn’t care, is never not funny to witness.
But Christine’s shit-stirring ways are also very irritating. Every storyline with Christine was filled with drama, and I just know being her friend in real life would be so exhausting and revolve around constantly bitching about your other so called “friends”.
However, I do have sympathy for Christine and everything she had to endure due to her husband’s fertility issues. Plus, I’ll give it to her, that pink Barbie latex look at her Botox party was absolute chef’s kiss.
Annoying level: 8/10
2. Kim Lee
Kim Lee is victim mentality personified.
The whole penis pump situation was INFURIATING! Despite both her and Guy making the collective decision to enter Anna’s guest bathroom and go through her possessions, Kim tried to shift all blame onto Guy.
And when Kim was rightfully called out and Guy apologised, she still continued to play the victim when she was the one who told Guy to throw the penis pump out the window?!
It’s wild that instead of taking any accountability for her actions, she just acted like a six-year-old and chucked a sook all season all because Kevin chose to defend Anna, who did nothing wrong in the situation. Insufferable, really.
Annoying level: 9/10
1. Andrew Gray
When I think of Andrew Gray there are far worse words I’d use to describe him than with the kindness of the word annoying.
However, because he sucks so incredibly bad, he will place last on any list I put him on. But that isn’t to say he’s not annoying. I think any man who gaslights and basically emotionally abuses their girlfriends are naturally irritating by default.
The way he cries is annoying. The always manages to convince Kelly that they should be together is annoying. His weird tree hat in the photo above is annoying. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS MAN ANNOYS ME. JUST LOOK AT HIM.
Annoying level: DEMON/10
You can stream Bling Empire on Netflix now.
Michelle Rennex is a senior writer at Junkee. She tweets at @michellerennex.