Bill Shorten Did A Great Impression Of A Normal Human On ‘Hard Chat’ Last Night
"You marched at Mardi Gras with your wife. Was that because you wanted to rub it in their noses that you could get married and they couldn't?"
Bill Shorten had every reason to be confident heading into the ABC studios yesterday for his ‘Hard Chat’ with Tom Gleeson. The government budget had just been handed down showing serious problems for young workers and zero mention of climate change. Charlie Pickering was about to lay into Malcolm Turnbull for his empty rhetoric around innovation while making cuts to the CSIRO. Kevin Rudd had been on last week foaming at the mouth and muttering about the “dismemberment of human bodies”.
The stage was set for greatness. With nothing but a clear head, a few solid responses and the faint whiff of a personality, this could be the perfect opportunity to squash the persisting rumours he’s actually a pile of wet cardboard boxes held together with tangled sticky tape.
*desperately clenches fists with effort*
“You dragged down Kevin Rudd, then you dragged down Julia Gillard. Are you sure you can have your own support?”
“Your best performance was when you were drunk and yelling at students on the street on a milk crate. Have you considered staying drunk until the election?”
“You marched at Mardi Gras with your wife. Was that because you wanted to rub it in their noses that you could get married and they couldn’t?”
Whichever political aide told him to just keep smiling like a drunk uncle who’s just discovered YouTube should probably get a little raise. Watch the full thing here: