Gaming

Try To Survive Your First Day As Beyoncé’s Assistant In This Amazing Choose Your Own Adventure

Beyoncé wants to Facetime Jay-Z at a red-carpet event. Do you let her?

by Jared Richards  24 June 2019
Beyoncé choose your own adventure on twitter

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Move over Black Mirror: Bandersnatch, because there’s a new revolution to the choose-your-own-adventure format. It’s not via Netflix, but Twitter, as one user has created an expansive thread where you try to survive the first day of your new job, being Beyoncé‘s assistant.

Yesterday, Twitter user @CORNYASSBITCH began an expansive thread that they’re still writing, telling people they have one objective: not getting fired.. By quote tweeting themselves, the thread repeatedly offers two or more choices for a decision, from song selections to Facetiming Jay-z — click in, and a new tweet loads.

The first question shows that only the sharpest bees in the hive will survive: you’ll need to know whether Beyoncé would want granola or a 5-star breakfast the day of a red carpet. If you can’t get that right, you’ll be fired on the spot: Bey runs a tight ship, and has no time for mistakes.

As you guide Beyoncé through her day, you’ll have to help her get dressed, avoid paparazzi, not get kidnapped, pick up Solange before going to a certain hotel — and avoid her father. Suffice to say, a lot is going on.

After about five play-throughs, we must say, it hurts to be fired by Beyoncé — but the biggest sting is knowing you disappointed someone you love.

Needless to say, Twitter has lost its mind over the thread, which is still being written a day later. Fans include Roxane Gay, Chrissy Teigen, comedian Joel Kim-Booster and literally everyone who has seen it — even if they’re frustrated as all hell.

Play the thread below, and ‘Bow Down’ to the genius who made it.