The Best And Worst Movies Based On Video Games
Video game movies don’t have the best reputation, to put it mildly. The exciting story beats and moments of action that make a good game often fall flat on film, like the difference between having a dream and having someone tell you about one. Even so, that hasn’t stopped studios from giving them a red hot go.
There are a ton of video game movies, most of which could be charitably described as trainwrecks, and many of which involved Uwe Boll. Still, there’s a certain type of fun that can be found even in a horrific pile of twisted metal and fire.
Here are some of the best, worst and best worst video game movies. (I’ve excluded fantastic film Wreck-It Ralph solely because it doesn’t heavily feature any real games. I had to draw the line somewhere before I started delving into Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle, Ready Player One and Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over.)
Doom (2005)
Doom is my go-to response whenever anyone asks me what my favourite video game movie is. In some ways, it perfectly encapsulates what early video games were: Over-the-top action with the thinnest of plots straining to contain it, like a tiny Kmart shirt on a man who does CrossFit.
Doom follows a bunch of Marines responding to a distress call from a research facility on Mars. They soon discover that said research facility was experimenting on humans, and that it has gone even more wrong than you’d typically think human experimentation could go. So, very wrong.
It has Karl Urban (AKA Eomer), Rosamund Pike (AKA Amy Dunne) and Dwayne Johnson (AKA The Rock). It has a gratuitous four-and-a-half minute first-person action sequence. It has a remix of Nine Inch Nails’ industrial rock song ‘You Know What You Are?’ What more do you want?
Resident Evil (2002)
The Resident Evil films are avant-garde in that they challenge what is meant by a “good film”. Yes, they may be pulpy, cliche and mindless. Yet with six films in the franchise and a reboot on the way, it’s safe to say more than a few people genuinely enjoyed them. And really, isn’t enjoyment the end goal of most films?
Borrowing elements from video games Resident Evil and Resident Evil 2, the first film in the series introduces Milla Jovovich as Alice, a woman with amnesia trapped in an underground facility filled with aggressive, mutated creatures. Formerly humans, the creatures have been transformed by a virus which the facility’s AI hopes to contain, even if it means killing people who are uninfected. I did say was cliche.
Resident Evil also has arguably the most memorable moment in the entire franchise: The laser corridor sequence. Of all the things I saw when I was probably a bit too young for them, this was a standout. You never really forget seeing a group of terrified commandos graphically diced into meaty chunks.
Tomb Raider (2018)
It was difficult deciding which Tomb Raider film to add to this list. Angelina Jolie was the Lara Croft of my childhood, and her early ’00s Tomb Raider films remain some of the first things that come to mind when I think of the intrepid archaeologist. However, the Tomb Raider title has since been handed down to Alicia Vikander, who took on the role for 2018’s Tomb Raider.
Tomb Raider follows heiress Lara Croft as she investigates her father’s disappearance, getting caught up with mysterious organisations and ancient tombs along the way since that’s how these things tend to roll. The film is loosely based on the 2013 game Tomb Raider, which depicted Lara’s early days of destroying historical, culturally significant sites and taking things.
The plundering and theft of archaeological artefacts by the British is actually a very important issue, and many countries have been calling for the return of their historical relics for years. But this is just a video game movie, so it’s OK.
DOA: Dead Or Alive (2006)
After leaving Neighbours but before appearing for a handful of minutes in Taken, Australian actress Holly Valance starred in DOA: Dead Or Alive as thief and assassin Christie. It’s hard to say whether this film hurt her career, but it’s hard to imagine it helped.
Based on the Dead Or Alive fighting game series, DOA: Dead Or Alive follows what was basically a more structured battle royale, with the addition of a heist plot, kidnapping, questionable technology, some unnecessarily intense volleyball and Devon Aoki. A bunch of fighters are invited to an island to fight for a $10 million prize, but of course it isn’t that simple, and they end up becoming allies.
The plot is even more ridiculous than Resident Evil, but DOA: Dead Or Alive tries covering up its lack of substance with fight scenes, bright colours and scantily clad women. To be fair, they’re probably some of the best distractions you could choose. I know this film is utter trash, but I will also happily put it on while I do other things.
Assassin’s Creed (2016)
The Assassin’s Creed film tried really hard to be a thing, then once it was released everyone tried really hard to forget it. I will say the costumes look fun, though. I can appreciate a neat hood.
Set in the same universe as the Assassin’s Creed series, Assassin’s Creed follows Michael Fassbender after he’s kidnapped by a mysterious organisation. Marion Cotillard then uses him to access the memories of his ancestor who lived during the Spanish Inquisition, hoping it will lead her to an artefact that will allow her organisation to control people.
Look, the science isn’t great here, but you just kind of have to go with it. Make like a good assassin and don’t ask questions.
Street Fighter (1994)
The 1994 Street Fighter film is similar to DOA: Dead Or Alive in that is also based on a Japanese fighting game franchise, features costumes that translate poorly to real life, and casts a blonde Neighbours-actress-turned-singer as a skilled fighter.
Following a plot loosely based on 1991 Street Fighter II: The World Warrior, Street Fighter follows Jean-Claude Van Damme as he tries to stop a dictator from taking over the world. Assisting Van Damme is tough military operative Cammy, played by Kylie Minogue. Ming-Na Wen is also there, in what feels like a career low for all.
Street Fighter was widely derided upon its release, both critics and moviegoers calling it dull and campy. Which, I mean, it’s Kylie Minogue playing a tough military operative. It was never not going to be camp.
Super Mario Bros. (1993)
Heads up that the above trailer features a bit of flashing, so proceed with caution if you have photosensitive epilepsy. Also proceed with caution if you don’t have photosensitive epilepsy, since your brain is less likely to mercifully nope out of it.
I don’t know how to explain the plot of Super Mario Bros. It’s like a bad dream you might have after watching a bunch of ’80s sci-fi films, eating some bad cheese and running a fever. There are parallel dimensions. There are devolution guns. There are tiny-headed humanoids that look like lychees with teeth. A baby hatches from an egg.
Super Mario Bros. has gone down not only as one of the worst films based on a video game, but one of the worst films of all time. Even so, it has since garnered a cult following, as many terrible films are wont to do. Sometimes people seek pain to feel alive.
Pixels (2015)
Upon being reminded that the 2015 film Pixels exists, all life drained from my soul and my mind curled into a defensive ball. I spent four long years shutting out the Adam Sandler film, condemning it to the darkness from which it had spawned. I had hoped I would never have to think of it again.
But evil things thrive in the dark. I should have known Pixels would not be an exception.
Pixels is about a bunch of 30-something men who use their skill at video games to save the world from invading aliens that look like Pac-Man and Donkey Kong. Just typing that out took every skerrick of energy I had left in this husk of a body. In the end, one of the men marries an alien that has taken the form of a video game character he’s obsessed with. They then have Q*bert babies.
We are but maggots infesting the carcass of this world, and soon the rot that consumes our souls shall manifest in our flesh.