Eat Shit: Barnaby Joyce Just Failed In His Bid To Become Deputy Prime Minister Again

"To celebrate #NatSpill I'm going to get drunk and root someone in the office, then post a video of me insanely mumbling about governments and conspiracy theories."

Barnaby Joyce Nationals spill

Barnaby Joyce has failed in his bid to claw his old job back, with his colleagues reportedly voting 11-10 to keep him on the sidelines in a leadership spill this morning.

The Nationals leader (and therefore our deputy prime minister) will continue to be Michael McCormack, who to be honest is still very cooked, but maybe not as cooked as someone who threatened to murder a Hollywood superstar’s dogs on television.

Barnaby was fighting to get his old job back two years after stepping down to the backbench due to the huge backlash over him impregnating his staffer, on top of sexual harassment allegations.

The leadership spill was called after their deputy leader Bridget McKenzie was forced to resign over the sports rort controversy. David Littleproud has picked up her role.

McCormack may have only narrowly clung to power, but it didn’t stop him from talking up his party as a “united team” after the spill.

“We will continue to serve in a very good government. We have been very responsive to the needs and wants and expectations this summer and particularly for regional Australia,” he told journalists.

Some might disagree with that — particularly those he dismissed as greenie, inner city raving lunatics when they voiced concerns about this summer’s climate change-induced bushfire season — but hey, it’s your press conference I guess.


As a sidenote Senator Matt Canavan is also out of cabinet — he resigned after announcing he’d be supporting Barnaby’s leadership ambitions, in what has to be the greatest miscounting of votes since Peter Dutton’s failed spill.

Barnaby and Matt have been pals for a while — Matt used to be his chief of staff but was also somewhat embroiled in the controversy that originally forced Barnaby out, after people found out his office gave Barnany’s then-mistress a cushy job in his office.