Barack Obama Went On Ellen, Discussed House Of Cards, Scandal, And His Excellent Family Tattoo Policy

Barack Obama has been working the media all month to get the March 30 deadline of Healthcare.org in front of as many Americans as possible.

There has been sports-related appearances for March Madness, black and Hispanic radio spots, the celebrated Between Two Ferns segment for Funny or Die, and he’s even met with YouTube celebrities in the oval office. “We are going to leave no stone unturned,” says senior advisor Valerie Jarrett, who’s coordinating the Affordable Care Act effort. “Our goal is to meet people where they are.”

Overnight, the President appeared on The Ellen Show. It was fine. A little awkward, but fine. Obama plugged The Gap’s move to raise their terrible wages, he said ‘Obamacare’ and ‘March 30’ a whole lot of times, and he whinged about his girls growing up, because mums watch Ellen and they love that shit. Conservative site Breitbart has predictably slammed the appearance, saying that along with Vice President Biden’s booking on Late Night with Seth Meyers and Michelle Obama’s stint on The Tonight Show, “the president is reduced to working the talk show circuit like a B-lister promoting a cable pilot.”

But Breitbart’s gonna Breitbart — and you can judge for yourself.

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On House of Cards and Scandal

Obama: I watch House of Cards. I haven’t seen Scandal yet, but Michelle has watched Scandal. I have to tell you, life in Washington is a  little more boring than displayed on the screen.

Ellen: I’d hope so.

Obama: The truth of the matter is, if you followed me, most of my day is sitting in a room listening to a bunch of folks in grey suits talking about a whole bunch of stuff that wouldn’t make very good television.

Ellen: Well that’s what I do, and we make great television.

Obama: I have to tell you though, Ellen, there is not much dancing in the situation room, as a general rule.

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On Ellen’s Selfie

Ellen: I apologise for doing it, but I broke your re-tweet record.

Obama: I heard about that. I thought that was a pretty cheap stunt, myself. Getting a bunch of celebrities in the background, feeding them pizza…

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On Dogs

Obama: The house is abandoned. I’m stuck with two dogs, and I’m expected to walk them, and do what you do when you walk dogs…

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On Tattoos

Ellen: You made the most amazing comment about, if your daughter’s got tattoos, that you and Michelle would also get the same tattoo in the same place, and you’d all take a family photo of all the tattoos. That’s fantastic.

Obama: That’s exactly right. We will reduce the cool factor of any tattoo. Michelle and I will be right there — and we’ll post it so that everybody will be able to see it. It will say, “We all got matching tattoos.” And I suspect that will be a pretty good deterrent for Malia and Sasha.

Ellen: I hate to say it, but I hope they get tattoos. I really do.

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