This New Meme Finally Explains When To Take Bathroom Breaks In ‘Avengers: Endgame’
Your bladder will thank you.
Avengers: Endgame is very, very long.
That’s old news, to be honest, and not very surprising. Indeed, the real surprise would be if the summation of an 11-year franchise was a clean 80 minutes. Who wouldn’t want their finale overstuffed and overlong and completely, aggressively self-involved? That’s how these things are meant to go.
There is a problem associated with the length of Avengers: Endgame, however, and that is the human bladder can only take so much of a pounding. Three hours might be fun for your superhero-centric brain, but it won’t be at all fun for your poor kidneys, which are only trying to do the right thing by you and keep you alive and flush you of your toxins.
Moreover, despite rumours that the film would feature an intermission — which would be fun, and would provide at least one similarity between Avengers: Endgame and Quentin Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight — there’s no bathroom break in it whatsoever.
As a result, the “when should we piss in Endgame” debate has been raging for many weeks — and it has even produced its own array of excellent memes.
Me holding in my piss during endgame pic.twitter.com/8XDmb0M7TH
— C A R T E R (@choccymilksoda) April 25, 2019
AMC Hikes Price of ‘Avengers: Endgame’ Piss Buckets to $30https://t.co/goeSetw1Ex
— Hard Drive (@HardDriveMag) April 25, 2019
When you forget to piss before Endgame and have to go during a really good part pic.twitter.com/BPVB1AUrLa
— Nico [0.89k] (@NicosBiggestFan) April 25, 2019
I’m airdropping this to everyone before the movie tomorrow pic.twitter.com/YyLOfiaToj
— abby // TODAY (@blissdaya) April 24, 2019
i’m prepared to piss my trousers in Endgame
— Child of Thanos (@iamRickeyy) April 25, 2019
But, the internet being the internet, Marvel fans all over the world have gathered together and decided the three best moments in which to run off for a pee.
There seems to be only 3 good times to pee during #endgame
1) when the San Francisco title card displays
2) Hulk has lunch
3) when the NJ title card comes up
Nothing after that and they all accur in the first half
— Jenn Ellis (@jellispants) April 25, 2019
The fact that all three of those pee-friendly moments occur in the first half of the film is, needless to say, a serious problem. That means there is a whole hour and a half of action that must be endured while absolutely brimming with liquid piss. But at least those who have not come adequately prepared have time to run out to the bathroom before things get too intense.
Related question: do you think that cinemas are noting a sharp decrease in the number of punters buying soft drinks? My guess is yes.