A Reminder That Australia Had Its Own ‘Queer Eye’ In 2005 And It Was Truly Something
Is it time for an Aussie reboot?
Queer Eye is huge at the moment — it’s on your screens, it’s in your hearts, it’s even in our very own small town of Yass, and it shows no sign of slowing down.
We’re at the point where it’s so popular, you almost forget that it’s a reboot of the iconic early noughties show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. And you’ve probably DEFINITELY forgotten that for one hot year we had our very own Aussie Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. Yup.
The show was a carbon copy of the extremely popular US version, with the only changes being that it was set in Australia rather than New York, and hosted by a new Aussie Fab Five.
However, for whatever reason, that particular version of fabulousness failed to take root in Australia’s hostile climate, with the show axed by Channel Ten after its third episode.
Sadly it seems almost impossible to find footage of the show, which feels bizarre in this digital age — in fact, most of the videos that come up when you search “Aussie Queer Eye” are weird infographics about global warming hoaxes.
Likewise, it’s hard to work out what happened in each episode — who were the long forgotten straight guys who were told to spike their hair and wear polo shirts? What are they doing now? Were they fixed, or did the eventual cancelling of the show force them to gradually sink back into cargo pants?
The only real insight I could find into how the show positioned itself was this introduction from Channel Ten back in 2004: “In this age of the metrosexual, the average Aussie bloke has still not come to terms with hair putty and foie gras, but our Fab Five are ripe for the challenge.” Metrosexuals! Remember those?
Here’s everything we could uncover about Australia’s brief attempt at having a Queer Eye of our very own.
The Not-So-Fabulous Five
The original Fab Five were pretty iconic — there was Carson, Ted, and all the other ones. They’re big, fashionable shoes to fill.
In an interview with The Age, the Australian Fab Five talked about how they weren’t trying to replicate the personalities of their US counterparts: “One of [the network’s] aims was not to get a bunch of bitchy fags in and none of us are. We’re like brothers.”
That’s nice. So, here’s who Australia chose to represent us all those years ago:
Liston Williams — Life
I guess Life was the original culture? Liston is an actor, having played the lead in Cats for a year in Europe before going on to work in events and stage production in Sydney for a number of years — including Mardi Gras 1999 and the Sydney Olympic Games in 2000.
Ty Henschke — Fashion
Ty is a fasion designer, who according to the Sydney Morning Herald, owned a label called Ty and Melia, which is “worn by a bevy of celebrities including Jada Pinkett-Smith, Paris and Nicky Hilton and the Presley Girls — Lisa-Marie and Priscilla.”
PARIS AND NICKY!!! Gayest and most 2005 thing I’ve ever heard.
Brendan Wong — Interior Design
Brendan Wong has a Masters of Interior Architecture, so he seems infinitely qualified to do house stuff.
Will Fennell — Grooming
At the time of the show, Fennell had a diploma in beauty therapy, physiatrics and massage therapy, and ran a beauty salon specialising in men’s grooming. Seems legit!
Ryan Andrijich — Food and Wine
Can the incredibly hot food guy from Australia’s Queer Eye For The Straight Guy even cook? The answer is: yes. As the SMH says:
“Ryan, 28, is a trained chef and fromagiere, and in his career he has had stints at some of Western Australia’s finest dining establishments. He has worked at Lamonts, was larder manager for Stephanie Alexander’s ‘Richmond Hill café’ and most recently managed the foodie’s heaven ‘Simon Johnson’ in Toorak, Melbourne.”
Junkee investigation OVER.
They all seem RIDICULOUSLY qualified, to be honest.
We Could Have Had It All
Sure, nobody had ever heard of the Aussie Queer Eye guys, but at least they were wildly qualified — so why did the show flop? We talked to someone who worked on the show but prefers to remain unnamed.
“They missed the boat, really,” says our source. “It had peaked in the US and taken root here as an American production… and I think the Aussie casting tried (and failed) to emulate the US characters.”
They also noted that all the episodes dealt with the same kind of subject. “All garden variety Australian working class men, all white…. I think they went for a really base level of tension.”
The argument could also be made that the Australia of 2005 was more comfortable with the idea of the flamboyant New York gay men as entertainment — they were safe, distant and palatable to the straight Aussie audience. Perhaps the idea of gay Australians breaking down the doors of regular blokes and making fun of their shorts was a little more real, a little less glamorous and a bit more confronting?
Also, considering the US Queer Eye For The Straight Guy managed to get Kylie Minogue on their show, what more possibly could we have to offer as a country?
Where Are They Now?
What ever happened to the boys from Aussie Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?
— Simie-Boy (@simieboy) September 3, 2011
Liston Williams — It was super hard to find any evidence of what Liston is up to, apart from owning a super cute dog, so Junkee reached out. We’ve been informed that Williams is investing in the property market, working as an international flight attendant for Qantas, and teaching music and drama. Good for him.
Ty Henschke — From what I can see, he’s doing really well in fashion, judging mostly by the sheer amount of linen pantsuits and references to Milan I can find on his Instagram.
Brendan Wong — Seems to be going strong in the interior design world, with his own interior design firm in Sydney. In his bio, he keeps coy about his time in the Fab Five, simply saying: “Television media experience includes both on screen and production design roles with Network Ten.”
Will Fennell — Describing himself as a “Grooming Guy, Media Presenter, Writer/Author and Wellness Warrior,” it’s clear that Will has continued to ride the media train, maintaining television appearances, writing books and doing a bunch of other stuff.
Ryan Andrijich — The food guy is working on a thing called ‘Whack It On The Barbie’, which seems to be a meat-based venture. He says in his bio: “I have been lucky enough to work with some of Australia’s leading food identities in restaurants, at events and on media projects,” once again keeping his time on screen low key.
So, that’s Aussie Queer Eye For A Straight Guy, a brief attempt at something beautiful, rapidly being lost in the mists of time like an old beautiful duck in a heavy fog.
Will Australia ever have our own Queer Eye again, or should we just be thankful for the 20 minute Yass episode?
Dear @QueerEye: does an Aussie version of you exist, and if so will y'all be willing to help this queer gal not be such a hot mess
— Creatrix Tiara (@creatrixtiara) February 11, 2018
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Patrick Lenton is an author and staff writer at Junkee. Tweeting is horrible.