We Watched Every Single ‘Planet Of The Apes’ Movie In One Week

Planet of the Apes is perhaps the only pop culture entity that can bring together Don Draper, Troy McClure, and James Franco. It’s one of the longest-running franchises in cinema, comprised of the classic original, four sequels, a Tim Burton remake, two reboot prequels, two separate spin-off television series, and one of the funniest and most enduring gags in The Simpsons’ history.

I had never seen any of the eight Apes films, although I’ve never avoided them for any particular reason. I guess Charlton Heston, star of the 1968 original, and his reputation as a completely awful human being for as long as he was on my radar – a later-in-life political conservative, casual homophobe, and President of the National Rifle Association, famously shown in Michael Moore’s Bowling for Columbine (2002) – may have been part of that. The franchise’s well-known descent into mediocrity shortly after probably another.

But unlike other long-running franchises – in particularly horror franchises Halloween (1978-present) and Friday the 13^th (1980-present) – the five films that make up the initial series aren’t just barely-connected cash grabs. Rather, there is a very clear story being told where one film leads directly into the next leads directly into the next. Akin more to the Harry Potter franchise in this regard, it actually makes total sense to watch all five of these films in rapid succession.

Which is why I set about watching all of them this past week, back to back.

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First There Were Apes, And Then There Were More Apes

Planet of the Apes (1968) starts out rather well, telling a story of surprising substance if one can get past the dated make-up that restricts its actors’ ability to, well, act – which, in my experience, is hard for some viewers who have known little more than the realistic CGI of today. This original Apes makes for a harsh satire — co-writer Rod Sterling, adapting Pierre Boulle’s novel La Planète des singes, was an outspoken progressive in his time and was clearly using the film as a means to explore xenophobia and societal oppression.

Indeed, the satire is clearly there, and yet the way Heston and director Franklin J Schaffner handle the material made me wonder if they even noticed — the end product is curiously interwoven with American rah-rah patriotism that appears to celebrate the ability of the white man to bring civilisation to the ‘other’. Given Heston’s history of speaking against racism, that’s a bit disappointing. Still, its creation of a futuristic Earth where apes rule and humans are wild, mute beasts hunted for scientific experimentation and put in zoos is evocative, with that famous ending continuing to remain a wonderful kick to the guts, even if nearly fifty years later audiences already know it.

It does not go unnoticed that Franklin J Schaffner’s original film was released the same year as the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr – one day prior to be exact – and that the film was attempting to deal with (and would continue to deal with through its initial four sequels) the very issues that were on people’s minds as a result of the civil rights movement. An episode of Mad Men’s sixth season, where Don Draper takes his son to watch the film in the shadow of King’s murder, was another recent acknowledgement of these films and allowed the show to examine issues of race that its upper-class white characters had never before truly been faced with.

The themes were incredibly pertinent then, and continue to be so today. As Australia descends into ethically repugnant and morally transparent chaos regarding asylum seekers, is it not too much to ask to imagine the tables turned? Do unto others and all of that. Planet of the Apes is a bit silly, but its message is powerful.

The four sequels, released in rapid succession from 1970 to 1973, are of decidedly lesser quality. Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970) is the only sequel to feature Heston and navigates the war between the species, with gorillas going head-to-head with a previously unknown sub-section of absurd mentally-advanced humans who worship a nuclear doomsday warhead in their New York City subway hideout. Geographical impossibilities aside – from Queens to Wall Street is not a leisurely stroll – it’s a sillier effort than its predecessor, but not without its charms. If only its themes regarding the inevitability of violence in the face of stubborn combatants were better explored.

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After That, There Were Some More Apes

Escape from the Planet of Apes (1971) is far more interesting and sets the series’ end-game up rather nicely as two of the future’s talking apes return to the present day after fleeing the nuclear explosion that has wiped out life on Earth in the future. In a complex time-travel storytelling device that at least makes more sense than The Terminator, these two animals will eventually prove to be the start of the primate dominance, birthing a child before going on the run as the government grows increasingly concerned with their assimilation into society. Sound familiar?

The theme of widespread xenophobia is rife in this film, which allows it to remain the best sequel of the bunch. While Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972) and Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973) also explore these issues – the former features the apes becoming servants and pets who then revolt – they should have been condensed into one single film. Battle, the fifth and final entry in the original canon, is a woeful affair. Cheaply produced in such a way that the rickety sets look as if they might collapse at any moment, it’s about twenty minutes of story expanded to feature length. A sad way to end a series of films that were surprisingly robust in theme.

By the time Tim Burton decided to “reimagine” the original for his own Planet of the Apes (2001), the material was certainly ripe for the picking. Sadly, as is typical of Burton’s post-2000 spectacle films –Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005), Alice in Wonderland (2010), and Dark Shadows (2012)– it is hideously ugly, as unbelievably bad visual effects attempt to cover up the overly artificial sets and murky camerawork. Meanwhile, Burton’s new elements (sadly, for instance, the actors like Estella Warren talk) don’t work as well and the ‘Ape Lincoln’ twist is lazy. Disappointing too, since Burton had such a great platform to explore the themes of the original as well as the ethics of the animal trade, and our reliance on and subsequent destruction of the environment.

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And Then There Were Even More Apes. Just A Whole Lot Of Apes

Thankfully the franchise reboot, Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011), was a success. If we must endure endless movie recycling then they should at least be aiming for more than simple cash. Reshaping the story with greater significance paid to the mind-boggling visual effects and popcorn action fun without sacrificing story and pertinent subject matter, this Oscar-nominee plays both sides of the fence splendidly.

Which brings us to Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014), a film that blatantly misrepresents itself on the poster (there is no exploding Golden Gate Bridge, sadly), but which further develops this new spin on the Apes mythos. That’s no mean feat, considering all the action in these films happens without the lone-man-in-the-future adventure story that made at least the first two films back in 1968 and 1970 so memorable.

Much will be made of the effects, Andy Serkis’ performance in particular. Known for his work as Gollum in the Lord of the Rings films, Serkis here might just be the first actor to get top billing in a live-action film for a performance in which we never actually see the actor. Rightfully so, too, as his Caesar – a nice little gift from Conquest where the leader of the uprising is also named ‘Caesar’ – is front and centre, occasionally to the film’s detriment. It’s true that the human actors, including Australians Jason Clarke and Kodi-Smit McPhee, sometimes feel like afterthoughts. But that doesn’t mean one can’t enjoy the somewhat smarter-than-average look at gun violence (a sly wink at Charlton Heston) and hostility towards refugees, not to mention a climactic battle that looks like a high-octane  Donkey Kong.

For a series that has now produced eight films of admittedly differing quality, it’s interesting to see these new films build in strength. Despite having a premise that is ostensibly rather ridiculous, perhaps the themes that have stretched across multiple decades say something about how little we have changed: still fighting the same battles, except now they’re more decked out with technological savvy. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes shows you can teach an old franchise new tricks.

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Glenn Dunks is a freelance writer from Melbourne who is currently based in New York City. He also works as an editor and a film festival programmer while tweeting too much @glenndunks.

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Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is out now.