Culture

Everyone’s Losing Their Minds Over This American’s Heinous Attempt At Making Hot “British Tea”

"Putting the tea bag in the mug was literally the only thing that was correct."

by Michelle Rennex  10 June 2020
american hot tea tiktok

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It’s pretty well-known that Americans do a lot wrong.

Beyond the country’s obvious issues with a lack of gun control and major instances of unjust police brutality, when it comes things you can consume, the US is pretty messed up.

After all, Americans call scones “biscuits” for some reason, eat everything under the sun with ranch, pump out nuclear yellow cheese, and, apparently, have zero fucking clue on how to make a hot cup of tea — at least according to one TikTok user.

Michelle, or @jchelle36 as she goes by on TikTok, went viral for all the wrong reasons when the American, living in the UK with her family, uploaded a highly-requested video of herself making hot “British tea”.

In the atrocious 34-second clip, Michelle microwaves a cup of water (already gross), follows it with far too much milk (blasphemous), then drops a teabag into the lukewarm cup of milky water (feral) and tops it all off with what looks like about 5 tablespoons of sugar (rank to the highest degree).

Beyond the recipe being upsetting, it seems as though Michelle is actually being genuine — which makes everything about 704% worse.

Describing herself on Instagram as a Zumba-lover, traveller, YouTuber, nurse and follower of Jesus Christ, Michelle is essentially “live, love, laugh” personified. But this didn’t stop everyone online absolutely tearing into her abysmal attempt at making a cuppa.

Now there’s a lot of things wrong with Michelle’s recipe: The order in which she pours the ingredients into the cup being the most obvious, but the sheer amount of sugar, the paleness of the tea at the end, and the ratio of water to milk are also hard to ignore.

Yet, somehow, the worst part of the whole video is the fact that Michelle and her daughter are boiling water in the microwave instead of using a kettle. While we are aware that Americans are weirdos who don’t believe in kettles, MICHELLE AND HER FAMILY MOVED TO THE UK, SO WHY ARE THEY STILL USING THE BONKERS US MICROWAVED CUP METHOD?!

Sadly for the world, this isn’t the first time that Michelle has gone viral for her terrible tea takes, either.

To give credit where credit is due, I am a fan of American iced/sweet tea and reckon that they do it the best. But Michelle’s iced tea recipe raised eyebrows back in March, when she released her sugar-heavy version on TikTok.

In this video, Michelle and her daughter forwent the microwave and went straight for the boiling pot on the stove method. But the worst part? The entire measuring jug full of sugar for just two bags of tea. Absolute scenes.

Someone please stop these monsters ASAP before they find another tea recipe to ruin. PLEASE.