Ahhhh, October. The magpies are out in full-force, stores are installing their Christmas displays, and the days are steadily getting warmer. All around Australia, future university students are preparing to submit applications to begin the next phase of their lives.

It can be a very stressful time of year with a seemingly endless array of options spread out before you. Like a buffet of future HECS debt.

Every person you meet will try and offer advice, such as “play to your strengths”, “pick a heap of back-up degrees” or my favourite, “do something with computers. Computers are the future.” Ya don’t say, Brenda. I’ll add to the smorgasbord of useless advice you’re bound to be receiving, with some reasons that should never make the cut.

#1 It Has The Best Bar

Only a rookie would choose a uni based on the bar alone. Us experienced codgers know that the bar is only half the battle; it’s the post-$10 jugs feed that really matters.

If you can’t find a uni with a decent kebab store (#HSP), at least find one with a hearty selection of fried foods.

#2 They Gave Out The Best Freebies At Open Day

Open Day is like Christmas for universities. Stalls are set up with more glitz than your local Westfield’s Christmas decos. Tour guides are dressed in matching outfits and fed carrots, ready to deliver marketing punch-lines to students and parents alike. Presents are plentiful, in the form of free pens, calendars, bags and chocolates. Do not fall for this scam.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for free food. But you should not choose your uni on the basis of their impressive Open Day alone. Do more research.

#3 It Has Nice Trees

I’ll be honest with you, this was a massive factor in my university selection. In my defence, the trees are exceptional and quite easy to climb.

#4 It Has Nice Ducks

You guessed it, another deciding factor in my own university selection process.

Actually, I don’t regret this at all – the ducklings are the best part of the soul-sucking stress bonanza that is university. CHOOSE YOUR UNIVERSITY BASED ON BABY ANIMALS.

#5 My Friends Are Going There

People change. Your school squad may not necessarily be the friends you are closest to throughout your university days, and into adult life. Uni is a time of self-discovery, and chances are you will discover that some of your friends have changed.

Your schoolmates will take up new hobbies, grow into their personalities, and commit unforgivable sins like becoming involved in uni politics.

Choosing a uni just because you’ll have the safety net of school friends may hinder your studies, or force you into a less-than-ideal degree. Be your own person, and don’t be afraid of making new friends throughout your studies.

#6 My Boyfriend/Girlfriend Is Going There

Just as you shouldn’t choose your uni to stalk your old school friends, you definitely shouldn’t base your decision off your current bae’s educational decisions. Many high school romances don’t survive university, and you don’t want to end up at the wrong uni because of your ex.

Even if you do remain together throughout the entirety of your tertiary studies, independence and friendly rivalry never hurt anyone. Just think of the opportunities you’ll get to brag about your superior education over your romantic candlelit dinner of two minute noodles.

#7 The Prestige Of A “Sandstone University”

Elite sandstone universities are great for one thing – late night Harry Potter re-enactments in the corridors. They can also be alright for actual study, as long as your university matches your strengths.

An elite uni might offer an amazing law program, but an average science program. If you’re keen on the lab life, you’re better off choosing the uni with the best program for science, and science alone.

#8 My Parents Wanted Me To

In all seriousness, this is probably the worst reason you can have for choosing a university.

It’s super helpful to have support from your family, as long as you’re still calling the shots. The choices that you are making at the moment will have an impact on the rest of your life. The only person who should take responsibility for such important decisions is you. No pressure.

(Lead image: Accepted/Universal)