Film

After ‘Zoolander’: The Significantly Less Catchy Movie Quotes Of The 2010s

Am I the only one who quoted 'Furious 7' at their wedding?

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“What is this? A center for ants?”

“Hansel. So hot right now.”

“Listen to your friend Billy Zane. He’s a cool dude.”

“Mer-man!”

Fifteen years removed from the release of Zoolander, it’s astounding how many of the film’s quotes — which, taken out of context, make zero sense — not only permeated pop culture but have also remained the subject of countless memes and gifs used to this day. In 2001, the film was a relative box office disappointment and reliable critic temperature-taker Rotten Tomatoes still gives it a rating of just 64 per cent. Yet with a sequel due out this week, its longevity is undeniable.

I mean, this is kind of just an ad for Starbucks.

We can credit that, surely, to its earwormy dialogue but, with the era of the monoculture far behind us, it’s hard to envisage Zoolander 2 pulling off the same feat. Can any movie provide a new quote to blanket our global community with such ferocity? What even was the last great everyone’s-in-on-the-joke piece of film dialogue? Could it really have been Borat’s “is nice” or “my wife”?

Ahead of Zoolander 2’s release this week, here are the 11 best contenders for pop culture permeation from the 2010s; the quotes from this decade that have had enough staying power to suggest movie characters can still embed in us some memorable rejoinders, non sequiturs, kiss-offs and declarations for future, endless repetition. Some are better than others.

“Help me, I’m poor”: Bridesmaids (2011)

Our newer brand of improv-heavy comedy isn’t as classically quotable as the heavily-scripted bon mots from the films of cinema’s past. (“I’m a man! Well, nobody’s perfect.”) Making your buddies laugh by screaming Apatow-styled off-the-cuff cracks relies instead on a shared experience. If someone hasn’t seen the movie you’re referring to… well, consider that relationship ended. Thank goodness then for memes. If you shout “Help me, I’m poor!” on the street, you’ll get more furrowed brows than knowing nods. But dropping a gif of Kristen Wiig at the appropriate moment on Facebook is like whispering “Fidelio” at the right secret party: you become part of a special, intimate club.

“Pigfuck!”: The Master (2012)

Last week marked the two-year anniversary of the great Philip Seymour Hoffman’s passing, but his mighty bellow of “pigfuck” from Paul Thomas Anderson’s misunderstood The Master lives on. Or does it? Why did this strange, idiosyncratic insult — delivered by Hoffman’s red-nosed L. Ron Hubbard stand-in Lancaster Dodd — fall off the planet? Especially considering, five years earlier, the equally unexpected but ganglier “I drink your milkshake!” from PTA’s There Will Be Blood got its own SNL skit. Where’s pigfuck’s SNL skit?!

“Argo fuck yourself”: Argo (2012)

Sensing a theme here? The f-bomb has been dropped with great finesse and to much delight over the past few decades, but only certain actors can truly make hay with the word. I’d personally say, so far this millennium, it’s belonged to Alan Arkin, for its deployment in both Argo and Little Miss Sunshine (“Every night is the fucking chicken!”) Of course, if you put ‘mother’ in front of it, ownership immediately reverts to Samuel L. Jackson.

“I am the President of the United States of America, clothed in immense power!”: Lincoln (2012)

Daniel Day-Lewis only really gets riled up once during Steven Spielberg’s legitimately-awesome Lincoln, during which he finally unleashes the above, badass statement. Sure, a classic movie quote needs to be applicable to many situations, and “I am the President of the United States of America, clothed in immense power!” may not seem suitable in all that many. But I don’t know, it wins lot of arguments in my house.

“Thank God for me”: American Hustle (2013)

Jennifer Lawrence nearly won an Academy Award for blowing up a science oven in David O. Russell’s daffy American Hustle and this is a testament to her immense talent for playing yet another character meant for a 40-year-old woman delivering a comic line with such spiky precision. This bodes well for her upcoming Amy Schumer collaboration, which we’re all very excited for (as I am legally obligated to say, this being the internet and all).

“I’m the captain now”: Captain Phillips (2013)

Okay, I lied. There is one movie quote from this decade that has definitely fully penetrated pop culture and it was delivered by limo-driver turned Oscar-nominated actor Barkhad Abdi in Captain Phillips. Certainly his accent was a factor in making “I’m the captain now” endearingly imitable. This also explains the reason why Austin Powers and Borat remain quotable go-tos for the tin-eared. Does this make us racist? Is saying “I’m the captain now” with Abdi’s Somali inflection a new problematic fave? For what it’s worth, Abdi seemed pretty chill when Tina Fey and Amy Poehler tried it on for size at the Golden Globes, but then, wouldn’t you be chill if they imitated you?

“Let it go”: Frozen (2013)

Does a song lyric count as a quote? Is it applicable in everyday conversation? It really doesn’t matter. Just seeing those three words returned Idina Menzel’s unkillable anthem back to your brain, where it will fester and feed for the rest of time. ‘Let It Go’ will outlive all of us. Even the cockroaches.

“Not quite my tempo”: Whiplash (2014)

J.K. Simmons’ mind-numbing, fascistic instruction to Miles Teller’s obsessive drummer is the best passive-aggressive order since Office Space‘s “Yeah, I’m gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow.” That is until it becomes aggressive-aggressive, leading to a hurled chair in the direction of Teller’s head. (Admit it: after reading last year’s Esquire profile on him, you wanted to do the same.)

“I don’t have friends. I got family”: Furious 7 (2015)

No one is coming to Furious 7 for the sparkling dialogue and witty repartee, but Vic Toretto’s ceaseless refrain about family has been drilled into our head for nearly 15 years now. Finally, by film seven — exacerbated by the real-life loss of his “brother” Paul Walker — it started to take on a real depth of meaning. (So much so, I quoted it during my wedding speech. Do I regret it? I only regret not wearing Vic’s signature white singlet and cross while doing so.)

“I’m going to have to science the shit out of this”: The Martian (2015)

2015’s most uproarious comedy — according to the Golden Globes anyway — sees Matt Damon left stranded on Mars, to die, unless he can figure out how to grow potatoes out of his own poop. (I should also add that this is a Best Picture nominee at the Oscars too.) The trailer told us to not worry — that we wouldn’t be watching a man slowly expire while cleaning his own faeces off his dinner — by letting his astronaut deliver this optimistic, science-positive vow. See! The Martian really is a comedy! A really, really, really stressful, math-heavy comedy.

“What a lovely day”: Mad Max Fury Road (2015)

If George Miller’s oddball, ocker Mad Max sequel does the unthinkable and sweeps the Academy Awards, it really will be.

Simon Miraudo is an AFCA award-winning writer and film critic for Student Edge, RTRFM and ABC Radio. He tweets here: @simonmiraudo.