Yowies Are Coming Back To Make Everything Alright Again
Hello childhood, I didn't see you there.
Remember Yowies? Those weird-looking, lovable all-Aussie monsters that taught you valuable lessons growing up like “put your rubbish in the bin” and “don’t let mining companies fuck up the Outback”? And there were little chocolate versions with toys inside that you could collect? And then they vanished off supermarket shelves for no reason, leaving your childhood as barren and empty as the ashes of a long-dead fire?
Good news, you overly-nostalgic sap: Yowies are coming back, at least in chocolate form. The ABC is reporting that a new company, Yowie Group Ltd, has secured the rights to make and distribute the chocolates in the United States, and has plans to bring them back our way too. Yowies were pulled from shelves in the early 2000s due to long-standing disagreements between Cadbury and their creators, Bryce Courtenay and Geoff Pike, over distributing the chocolates overseas.
Courtenay and Pike created the Yowies in 1995 to promote environmental awareness among kids, pitching the nature-loving Yowies against the evil Grumkins, who were thinly-disguised mining, logging and chemical companies and total jerks. In every book a Grumkin would come rolling up in some bushland, spreading some nasty business, and the Yowie would be all “hey man, that shit ain’t cool, look at this Spotted-tail Quoll”, and the Grumkin would be all “damn, you and this quoll changed my outlook on this issue, son”.
“Grrrr! We are a thinly-veiled critique of predator capitalism!” (Source: Vizargo.)
Maybe we could introduce some new Grumpkins for the Yowies to lay some home truths on: Climate Denier Grumkin, Coal Seam Gas Grumkin, Gina Rinehart Grumkin. Drop some Yowie knowledge on them motherfuckers.