Any of my friends will tell you I am annoyingly persistent in my belief that everyone should go to therapy. I’m constantly frustrating them by responding to their personal issues with advice like, “You know, it would really help to see a psychologist!” or, “Have you got any appointments coming up?”

More often than not, their reply goes something like, “Oh, I don’t think it’s that bad” or, more bluntly, “Maddy, I’m not a crazy person, I’m just stressed.” First of all, rude. People with mental illnesses aren’t “crazy people”.

More importantly, you don’t have to be mentally ill to go to therapy! Everyone can experience periods of stress, depression and heightened anxiety, regardless of whether or not they have a diagnosis.

The Illusion Of Fine Versus Actually Being Fine

I’m not going to act like I don’t get it. I’ve been there. For the second half of 2017 I didn’t see my psychologist once, which is far longer than I usually would wait between appointments. After a while, I somehow convinced myself that making the call would be like admitting defeat. I was doing fine! I was doing great! I didn’t need therapy anymore because I was a real adult with a clean and organised life.

When I told my friends I hadn’t seen my psychologist in a little while I would usually get a “that’s great!” in response, assuming I had stopped going due to a lack of necessity, rather than a blatant disregard for my own health. That assumption made sense. I finally had my driver’s license, I wasn’t having panic attacks anymore, and I was cooking myself dinner most nights instead of just heating up chicken nuggets from the back of the freezer. I went along with it. “Yeah. I am doing great.”

But it was a lie. I was buying new clothes so I wouldn’t have to do laundry, making hefty financial decisions that I was in no position to make, skipping social events and missing classes and work days because I was so exhausted from keeping up with my new persona.

Sure, I appeared to be functioning, but I still wasn’t sure how to manage my time, my money or my emotions. Last Tuesday, I missed a really important class because I was having a particularly bad day, so I bit the bullet and made an appointment for the next day. It was nerve wracking to go but I left feeling proud of my progress in some areas and finally ready to work on the areas that had been making me spiral downward for so long. I wish I had made that call six months earlier.

Treat Yourself Like A Friend

The strangest part of the whole situation was the things I was saying to myself that I would never say to a friend. If one of my mates told me they were skipping social events and classes because they weren’t feeling mentally up to scratch, I would never tell them those things weren’t pressing enough for therapy. I would never tell them that seeing a therapist would be the weaker move – because it’s not! It’s the harder move, and ultimately the right move.

“… talking about your life, your emotions and the way you approach difficult situations can only be beneficial.”

Treat yourself like a friend, and find someone to talk to if it will help you. If you find the right professional then talking about your life, your emotions and the way you approach difficult situations can only be beneficial.

Finding help can be tough, and sometimes a bit costly, but the effort and cost quickly translates into less stress and reduced cost down the line. The first step is to speak to your doctor about finding the right person for you. Bring up any concerns about cost straight away so they can factor that into their referral.

I was lucky enough to find an excellent psychologist who also doesn’t ask me to pay more than the Medicare rebate amount, which would have been a lot harder if I hadn’t brought up cost as an issue when I first saw my doctor. You can also always get in touch with Headspace, BeyondBlue or call another helpline if that’s the easiest option for you.

–

If you or someone you know is struggling with a mental illness, you can find help by seeking advice from a counsellor or calling Lifeline on 13 11 14.