Bill Paxton passed away last night, which is extremely sad. One of the (less important) reasons why I’m sad is because I will really, really miss seeing Bill Paxton in movies.

Bill Paxton automatically makes every movie he’s in a bit better, even — actually, especially — when he was playing a bit of an asshole. He’s the kind of guy who makes you say “heeeeey!” when he pops up on screen and you weren’t expecting him, because you know that he’s probably about to yell at someone or blow something up soon.

Paxton had an air of casual grace about him — which is probably how he made a TV show about a fundamentalist Mormon who practices polygamy seem like a measured family drama — but he was also an indisputable badass. “I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art! You do not wanna fuck with me,” he said in Aliens. That’s a pretty hard line to sell, but he was able to because you knew it was true. You did not want to fuck with him.

So what is the most badass thing he ever did in film? Let’s investigate.

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Extorting $175 And A VCR Out Of His Younger Brother

In Weird Science, Bill Paxton plays Wyatt’s older brother Chet, who is mean. He smokes cigars in the house. He says things like, “You’re stewed, buttwad!”, “Good morning, turdbrain!” and “You’re dead meat, pilgrim”. Things I would only dream of saying! He often walks around the house in a towel or underwear, and occasionally just stands in the kitchen naked. When you are a badass, you can’t be shamed.

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Telling The Terminator To “Fuck Off”

In Terminator, Bill Paxton plays a punk with spiky hair and a face tattoo who has a penchant for breaking bottles and laughing with his friends. Finding everything funny is extremely badass. In less than two minutes this character is revealed to be the most badass thing in the movie, including the Terminator himself.

This character is without the fear of death. He is comfortable mocking a very muscly, naked man. He reacts in aggressive ways that are not proportionate to the situation, which is exciting. He pulls a knife and says “Fuck you, asshole!”. Sure, he’s thrown by the neck into a fence, but this does not diminish how badass this very ill-advised behaviour truly is.

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Spitting On Aliens; Talking About How Much Of A Badass He Is 

Private Hudson in Aliens is great because he spends a lot of time talking about how he is a badass — a state of the art badass, which means he is better than all badasses that came before him and all badasses that will come after him — but then when he is called to be a badass, he doesn’t enjoy it very much.

“We’re on an express elevator to hell!” he says with glee. Nothing can stop him! “Game over, man! Game OVER!” he says a short time later, almost crying. Hudson is on the verge of crying for at least one half of the film. You’d think this makes him the opposite of a badass, but you’d be wrong. Being vulnerable is hardcore.

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Growing A Really Good Moustache

Enough said.

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Chasing Goddamn Tornados 

Humans are meant to run away from the things that kill us. In Twister, Bill Paxton runs towards danger. He is so badass that he encourages other people to be badass and assist him in running towards death. Sometimes they’re like, “Hey, maybe we should take shelter?” and he’s like, “What? Why?”. He’s so badass that he doesn’t even understand why people wouldn’t want to be in the middle of a tornado. Taking shelter doesn’t even occur to him.

That’s how much he cares about science.

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Avoiding Suffocating In Space While You Have A Urinary Infection

If there was a likely chance that you were going to die in space — even if you did have the soothing voices of Tom Hanks and Kevin Bacon cooing inspirational things in your ear — it would be very difficult to collect yourself and figure out a way that you could get home safely. Now imagine how much worse this would be if you were really cold, if Tom Hanks and Kevin Bacon were getting a bit annoying and also, you had a urinary infection. It’s so much worse.

Bill Paxton gets home safely anyway, because only a badass can compartmentalise the pain in their urinary tract and get the motherfucking job done.

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Caring A Lot About Stuff, Then Deciding You Don’t Really Care After All 

First of all, it’s badass just to say that you were in Titanic. You know how many actors weren’t in Titanic? Almost all of them! Secondly, it’s badass to care so much about being paid some huge coin that you are getting around in a tiny submarine — while contemplating that many thousands of people drowned in the spot that you are floating in — then only to decide that nah, you don’t want to find that blue diamond anymore, let’s go home boys.

Indecision and wasting someone else’s money is very badass.

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Yelling At Tom Cruise A Lot

Badass.

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(Just kidding, all of these win; Bill Paxton is always badass.)