What Your Coffee Order Says About Your Study Habits
Are we right, or are we right?
You can always tell a lot about a person from the kind of coffee they drink: if they’re mixing it with Red Bull, they’ve wasted their life. If they’ve ordered a half-strength soy mocha with stevia, they never had a life to waste.
But the way you get your daily caffeine fix can also reveal a lot about your study habits. Observe.
Don’t let my glasses fool you, 90 per cent of what I’m writing is pure drivel. I’m just trying really hard to look busy.
I take my studying seriously. I even carry my pen licence in my wallet in case I get pulled over by the police. But I also have a fun side — I allow myself at least five minutes a day to watch videos of cats knocking things off tables.
After five hours of watching Netflix, doing my laundry and figuring out who shot JFK, I will write 30 words of my assignment. Then it’s time to reward myself by having a nap.
“I Don’t Drink Coffee.”
I personally think that this essay would look infinitely better if it was typed in Comic Sans. How else will people know that I’m fun?
I finish all of my assignments by linking everything to the idea that society is flawed. Also, I can only concentrate on studying if I listen to Lana Del Rey.
Chai Latte With Soy Milk
Not gonna lie, doing the readings makes me want to drop out of uni and start a hemp farm in Byron Bay. My study breaks consist of meditating, drawing mandalas in Microsoft Paint, and reminiscing on my Contiki holiday to Bali. #takemeback
Anything That Ends In “Frappe”
I can’t be trusted to get anything done on my own, so I need a study group to actually get stuff done. My study sessions usually end with 35 regular group selfies, 69 group selfies with a flower crown filter, excessive use of the phrase “yasss kween”, and a thorough examination of Kylie Jenner’s Instagram story.
I manage to finish all of the readings with the life that I don’t have.
Triple Shot Long Black
I haven’t done anything other than scream for the past three months, but at least all the screams have been accurately categorised with Harvard style referencing. My doctor advised me that it’s unhealthy to have a faster heart rate than the average hummingbird, but what would she know? She doesn’t know the kind of stress I’m under.
I like poetry, long walks on the beach and messaging everyone in my class asking if they did the readings for the tute tomorrow.
I physically can’t study unless everything around me is organised alphabetically and I’ve arranged my pens into patterns according to colour and height.
I don’t like studying at the library. There’s too many people who don’t use a Macbook Pro, so I prefer to study at home in order to avoid too many arguments with people who are wrong.
The last time I tried writing anything on a computer, I made so many spelling mistakes that the Internet crashed in 32 countries. Is computer spelt with a ‘K?’
I know nothing other than all-nighters, doing things at the last minute, and yearning for the void to consume me.
I refuse to do any kind of work until after I’ve had lunch. Then I spend most of my study time sniffing my scented gel pens and wondering what life would be like if I dropped out and became a tradie.
(Lead image: Grownish/abc)