We Recommend: Your Friday Freebies
Featuring a poem by Childish Gambino, a blog about fashion on the Golden Girls, a remix of Apparently Kid, a love letter to Martin Prince, and more.
Each Friday, our contributors send in a bunch of (legally) free stuff they’ve come across this week to help you waste your weekend. You’re welcome.
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Remix: Apparently Kid
Recommended by: Nelson Groom
Last week, a five-year-old named Noah Ritter stole the heart of netizens across the globe when he was interviewed at a Pennsylvanian fair. While he received a torrent of praise for his talents as a wordsmith, his was largely overlooked in another department: the ability to make you shake your booty like it’s been set alight.
Thankfully, YouTube magicians The Gregory Brothers, famous for auto-tuning clips from the news, have given credit where it’s due, turning the original clip into a certified club banger.
Much obliged, internet.
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Supercut: Woman In Refrigerators
Recommended by: Katie Booth (‘You Might Have Worked Out How Game Of Thrones Will End‘)
“Women in refrigerators” was a phrase coined back in 1999 by Gail Simone, referring to the torture/abuse/murder that female characters often suffer in order to lend depth to their male counterparts – particularly in comic books.
Loose Meatz’ genius supercut expands on Simone’s theory, showing some more recent examples from big blockbusters.
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Tumblr: The Golden Girls Fashion
Recommended by: Koren Helbig (“‘Humans of New York’ Just Landed In The Middle East, Is Even Better Now“)
Few television shows showcase the heyday of 1980s fashion quite as spectacularly as The Golden Girls, with its boldest of prints, loudest of colours, biggest of shoulder pads and bluest of rinse. So it’s only natural that the show finally has its own website, The Golden Girls Fashion – which also doubles as the official internet home for scrunchies, nana cardigans and oversized everything.
The unnamed author of this oddly addictive Tumblr claims our beloved single grannie housemates Dorothy, Blanche, Rose and Sophia will “help guide you towards your most stylish self”. Style, I suppose, has always been subjective.
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Art: Accidental Renaissance Art
Recommended by: Elizabeth Flux (‘Google Maps Has Been Tracking Your Every Move, And There’s A Website To Prove It‘)
Violence is supposed to be ugly, but apparently these Ukrainian politicians didn’t get the memo, instead inspiring the term “Accidental Renaissance”.
Subconsciously utilising the golden ratio, and somehow positioning themselves in a way that produces an ideal colour palate, these three men — engaged in a mid-Parliament brawl, the likes of which are apparently quite regular in Ukraine — composed something I almost want a print of.
It didn’t take long for Twitter to join in.
Another renaissance painting is this picture of Lampard after he scored following the death of his mum. pic.twitter.com/EVc5etb9x8
— Dan Sully (@dan_sully) August 6, 2014
@dan_sully @rosieswash and this one’s like Caravaggio’s Taking of the Christ pic.twitter.com/n8DfPtRgRo
— Paul MacInnes (@PaulMac) August 6, 2014
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Music: ‘Deckard’, by Mysteries
Recommended by: Alex Sol Watts
I can’t seem to find out much about Mysteries, but this is the slinkiest song released this year, probably. The Bladerunner reference is nice, too.
Listen to it on loop below:
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Read: ‘The Queen of Summer: Martin Prince’s Finest Moments‘, by Mallory Ortberg for The Toast
Recommended by: Chad Parkhill (‘What Even Is Australian English? An Interview With The Editor Of The Macquarie Dictionary‘)
If you’re not crying by the end of this article – well, I don’t know what to say to you. And if you’re not later in awe of the genius of Mallory Ortberg because she made you cry with what is essentially a Simpsons recap – well, I still don’t know what to say to you.
This is part one of a series of odes to minor characters from The Simpsons from Ortberg, and the second instalment (about Ralph Wiggum) is almost as good as the first.
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Webseries: Decker, and Octopus & Jellyfish
Recommended by: Matt Banham
Decker is the latest blockbusting internet sensation brought to you by the greatest dramatic mind or our generation, Tim Heidecker. Watch as Decker saves the world from terrorist threats and hold POTUS at gunpoint, all for the sake of world peace. This five part series is all online now; here’s episode one.
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Under the sea, anything could happen. But not much really does. Life is just like up here, really.
Octopus and Jellyfish are best friends, but they never seem to agree on much. Three episodes of this brand new cartoon by myself and my buddy Chris Yates are now up on youtube; tune into their adventures (conversations) at your wet leisure.
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Tumblr: Annals of Nope
Recommended by: Steph Harmon (‘Twitter Is Having A Whole Lot Of Fun With Joe Hockey Today‘)
Sporadic Junkee contributor Elmo Keep is terrified of clowns. And black holes. And spiders. And crabs. And brains. And deep sea. And clever birds. And massive groups of tiny insects. And also maybe lizards?
I know this, because I am also terrified of these things. And space. And airplanes. And ebola. And bats. And roller coasters. And elevators. And old toys. And loud noises. And radiation poisoning. And large, empty expanses. And infinity.
We decided to put all of our panic attacks into one place, instead of clogging up each other’s Facebook walls with horror. That place is the Annals Of Nope.
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Song: ‘She He See Feel’, by Dustin Wong and Takako Minekawa
Recommended by: Doug Wallen (‘10 Indie Rock Songs You Can Trick Kids Into Thinking Are From Frozen‘)
Takako Minekawa has been making whimsical synth-pop since the mid-’90s, while Dustin Wong tore his way through manic, prickly guitar runs in the late Baltimore band Ponytail before going solo. They united last year for the collaborative album Toropical Circles [sic], and there’s another on the way in Savage Imagination.
The first taste of it is ‘She He See Feel’, a free-wheeling art-pop oddity that starts off with trilling keyboard melodies and Minekawa’s sweetly chirping vocals before getting increasingly frisky and frazzled. For all its childlike cuteness, by the end its sheer franticness is almost menacing. As their label, one-time post-rock bastion Thrill Jockey, puts it: “Dustin and Takako are serious musicians not afraid to play it silly.”
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Poem: ‘Childish Gambino Is A White Rapper’, by Childish Gambino/Donald Glover
Recommended by: David Harmon
The shooting and death of Michael Brown in Ferguson Missouri, and the accusations of a brutal cover-up in response to coverage and protests, has hit a lot of people hard. It’s all too soon after Trayvon Martin and a lot of people, especially African Americans, are wrestling with the question of just why their country seems content to harass, villify and murder its own people so callously.
Rapper Childish Gambino’s personal response — framed as a response to the accusation he’s a ‘white rapper’ — is worth a read.
“childish gambino is a white rapper”
— childish gambino (@donaldglover) August 14, 2014
i wanna be a white rapper.
— childish gambino (@donaldglover) August 14, 2014
i wanna be so white im the biggest rapper of all time.
— childish gambino (@donaldglover) August 14, 2014
i wanna be so white i can have a number one song with cursing and parents are fine with it.
— childish gambino (@donaldglover) August 14, 2014
i wanna be so white and so big i get eat dinner with the koch brothers.
— childish gambino (@donaldglover) August 14, 2014
i hope I’m so big and white i can go to clippers games and it not be a statement.
— childish gambino (@donaldglover) August 14, 2014
i hope I’m so white they let my friend out of jail sooner.
— childish gambino (@donaldglover) August 14, 2014
i hope I’m so big and white my cousin wasn’t shot and stabbed twice in the neck twice last month.
— childish gambino (@donaldglover) August 14, 2014
i wanna be so big. so white.
— childish gambino (@donaldglover) August 14, 2014
Read the full poem here.