Waka Flocka Flame Is Running For President, Has A Surprisingly Good Policy Platform
Hint: it involves marijuana.
The US Presidential race is just getting started, and unless you count the merry-go-round of right-wing lunatics presuming to be running, presumptive Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton doesn’t have a lot of serious competition so far.
But the race just got a surprise new contender — 28-year-old rapper Waka Flocka Flame, who officially announced his candidacy in a video address courtesy of Rolling Stone yesterday (April 20, America-time). Flocka’s bold policy platform includes legalising marijuana, banning dogs from restaurants, and forbidding people with large feet from walking around in public. Children will be required to learn the lyrics to his songs on pain of being sent back to third grade, and every fast-food chain will have to raise its minimum wage to $15 an hour. It’s actually a pretty good platform, all things considered.
Considering a US citizen must be at least 35 years old to run for President, Flocka’s candidacy may soon hit a serious constitutional speedbump, but that hasn’t stopped democracy before. Viva!