Vale, Paul Rudd’s Moustache; We Hardly Knew Ye

Following a highly public rollercoaster of a relationship, news broke overnight that Paul Rudd has finally parted with his celebrated moustache. He says he’s “kinda sad” about it.

In tribute to the now vacant island of baby soft skin between his nose and top lip, we decided to take a look at the mo’s rise and fall through the pitfalls of fame.

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It all started back in 1995, back when Paul Rudd’s facial hair was still nascent, and m0stly resigned to the humble chin.

After a couple of forgettable indie pictures and a few off-Broadway performances, Paul Rudd’s moustache — as we now know it — burst forth in the early naughts.

It continued to grow, seemingly boundless, before scoring a lead role in 2004’s Anchorman and becoming the official spokesperson for Sex Panther.

Unprepared for that level of overnight celebrity, the moustache made the mistake of so many before it. It succumbed to the excesses of fame.

Was it eating because it was lonely, or lonely because it ate? In either case, the effort of lifting it soon came to rely on almost every muscle in Paul Rudd’s beautiful face.

You know a star is really crumbling when they start messing with their hair. Embarrassed by its rapid weight gain, and desperate to hide from the public eye, Paul Rudd’s moustache started disguising itself with a range of questionable attire.

This candid moment — one which will haunt Rudd for the rest of his career — was snapped by GQ earlier this year:

But all was not lost.

Paul Rudd’s moustache slowly cleaned up its act and stepped out once more, looking healthy, mature and ready to work. Here it is at the premiere of Admissions, in March.

Not merely confined to the promotional circuit, it burst back on the screen at Sundance, too.

And has been signed up to star in Anchorman 2.

But has fame once again proven too much for this vulnerable patch of hair?

Earlier this month it was captured driving home after a drug-fuelled bender in L.A. nightclubs, probably.

Video footage has emerged of the ‘stache partying with Lonely Island; this screen cap clearly shows Rudd trying to smother yet another violent outburst from his moustache, by smoushing a banana right into it.

Trying to forge a career independent of his facial hair, the actor had the last word, finally shaving it off to reveal his infinitely ageless baby face once more.

Farewell, you wiry bit of man-scaping; your star shone bright and brief. Like so many fallen Hollywood stars before you, you will serve as a constant reminder against the dangers of our celebrity-obsessed society, that kills all it worships without ever looking back.

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