Tony Abbott’s St Patrick’s Day Message Is Exactly As Weird And Vaguely Offensive As You’d Expect

"Fiddle-dee-dee, potatoes!" - Tony Abbott, probably.

Update: Irish Prime Minister (or “Taoiseach”) Enda Kenny has weighed in, telling the Irish Independent newspaper he doesn’t agree with Abbott’s characterisation of Ireland. 

“I’ve heard the Prime Minister’s comments. He made them. I don’t agree with that,” Kenny said. “I think that it is perfectly in order for so many Irish people in Australia to have an enjoyable celebration of St Patrick’s Day and St Patrick’s week, and to do so in a thoroughly responsible fashion. 

“There has been a long-term view of a stage Irish perception. I reject that. I think it’s really important that we understand that we have a national day that can be celebrated worldwide, St Patrick’s Day.”

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Watching how Tony Abbott can somehow manage to offend people while performing the most humdrum activities is kind of fascinating. It’s probably how David Attenborough feels when he discovers a hitherto-unknown and particularly ugly species of animal. Earlier this week Abbott’s description of remote Aboriginal communities as “lifestyle choices” got under the skin of pretty much everyone in said communities (as well as his own advisors on Indigenous affairs), but he was defending a highly-charged and divisive policy in which tensions were already running very high, which at least is a familiar context in which something controversial might be said.

Not so this time round. Abbott’s pre-recorded message to Irish Australians commemorating St Patrick’s Day on March 17 is already up on YouTube, and it’s managed to draw accusations of being “patronising” without even technically being released yet. Give it a watch.

Firstly, a Prime Ministerial address is definitely the place where you want to be sledging other political parties, hey. “The one day a year it’s good to be Green,” ha ha, we have no climate policy and the earth is rapidly warming, sick one legend. What’s even better is the sneaky joke that the Irish are all mad drunken bastards. “I’m sorry I can’t be there to share a Guinness or two — or maybe even three,” Abbott chuckles. I’m sure the Irish are fucking crushed you couldn’t make it to their party, mate. Now they have to find someone else to make leprechaun jokes and say “potato! potato!” in a shitty accent ad nauseam.

“It’s been said of us that the English made the laws, the Scots made the money and the Irish made the songs.” Has it, though? Has that been said of Australia in any place and/or time that wasn’t either a men’s-only golf club on the Northern Beaches or an open mic night at an outback pub in the ’60s? I do not think so, somehow. And what in God’s name is going on with his hands?

This isn’t the first time the PM’s had an ain’t-the-Irish-twee moment. Back in 2011 Abbott came under criticism for joking that the Gillard government “was a bit like the Irishman who lost 10 pounds betting on the Grand National and then lost 20 pounds on the action replay,” whatever the fresh hell that’s supposed to mean. Understandably Irish people are a bit touchy at the long-running joke that they’re all fucking idiots, and Abbott subsequently apologised to the Irish Embassy in Canberra after they expressed their displeasure.

You’d tell him not to quit his day job, but, y’know.

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  1. Chris says:

    See? Tony does love multiculturalism and celebrating other cultures. (As long as the culture in question is white.)

  2. Terry Wrist says:

    “The one day a year it’s good to be Green” haha gotta admit i had a chuckle at that.Lighten up Junkee.

  3. Guest says:

    what do you mean with “whatever the fresh hell that’s supposed to mean”? isn’t it obvious? he called you dumb, you dumb sh*t. jesus, presuming you, the author, are irish you’re like a self-fulfilling prophecy – “oh look an irish joke… i don’t get it”

  4. the_ulf says:

    what do you mean with “whatever the fresh hell that’s supposed to mean”?
    isn’t it obvious? he called you dumb, you dumb sh*t. jesus, presuming
    you, the author, are irish you’re like a self-fulfilling prophecy – “oh
    look an irish joke… i don’t get it”

    why don’t you just have another pint or two of guinness and leave someone else to rip abbott another one, clearly you’re a bit underprepared for a battle of wits…

  5. Grief Rhys Jones says:

    God, the guy doesn’t even come across well in prerecorded statements. In
    a way he doesn’t need to, though. He’s not going to win new fans
    anymore so he’s simply preaching to the converted with this sort of
    nonsense. Abbott’s right-wing posse will find his feeble jokes funny and
    tell everyone else to stop being so “PC”, to lighten up etc etc.

  6. Kegel says:

    And Christian*

  7. Terry Wrist says:

    I sure hope the people offended by fluff like this aren’t the same ones who do stuff like graffitti penises on Liberal party campaign buses.There is light hearted fun and theres breaking the law, the far left can have trouble differentiating…

  8. Tim says:

    Searing insights.

  9. Jane says:

    LOL penis drawings on buses….?? WTF are you on about? I’d lay off that Guinness if I were you.

  10. pocketfrog says:

    That wasn’t graffiti, Tony Abbott’s face was meant to be on there.

  11. Jacob Cade says:


  12. ChrisKKenny says:

    Hear the one about when 88 Aussies walked into a bar in Bali?

    Boom boom!

  13. ChrisKKenny says:

    He’s as underprepared as an ANZAC recruited as a foreign fighter for a suicide mission in the Middle-East.

  14. disqus_2zWRCDoQzh says:

    why people are so bothered by this…

  15. woogyone . says:

    Its got nothing to do with the video. Its because they don’t like Abbott, Since Abbott inherited Labors debt legacy, Abbott tightened the belt & people like the school teachers, the unions, government workers, the muslims, the progressive uni students & the lazy doll bludgers aren’t getting the same free handouts no more. So they’re mad. It doesn’t matter what he says, people are going to hate him.

  16. Scream Nevermore says:

    If he loses that job, he’s not likely to get another one, given his level of stupidity. Or at least, so you would assume, if there weren’t even more stupid people voting for him!

  17. bongo says:

    What handouts do teachers and govt workers get?

  18. John says:


  19. John says:


  20. Fred says:

    Why would he need another job? You understand the pension system for retiring MPs yes? Gillard & Rudd don’t need another job either.

  21. Fred says:

    You read where he said the unions? Keep up.

  22. Ilona Tar says:

    Junkee, please, love youse, but the commi ‘party’ dig at the vietnamese and cambodians – you have to include that in the commentary – it’s so f#cking awful.

  23. Jaymz Edwards says:

    He reminds me of David Brent from the office….

  24. sian says:

    “Doll” bludgers lol


  25. Banjonica says:

    Australia’s own Warren G Harding.

  26. Ceci Pipe says:

    Didn’t he spend ~300mil extorting the states into having chaplains in schools over secular and trained professional counsellors? And attempt to to put in a fee for doctor visits, to make a new healthcare fund? Get rid of a natural resource tax on high earning mining companies? Ditch a carbon tax on polluting businesses?

    You can say deficit all you like, but it means nothing when the LNP is on a spending and cutting taxes spree.

  27. Prue McKay says:

    Yeah, but like he asked – what handouts do they get? I’ve been a public servant/government worker for 15 years and I sure as hell haven’t ever had a handout, free or otherwise.

  28. Prue McKay says:

    I love it when sticks-in-the-mud say “progressive” like it’s a bad thing.

  29. andypants1989 says:

    Pretty sure the teenage children who committed the act you’re talking about couldn’t tell the difference between a liberal and a labor campaign bus. They were fucking idiots for abandoning a political campaign bus in the main street of a town in the first place.

  30. andypants1989 says:

    Did you hear the one about the hundreds of asylum seekers who have been imprisoned since Tony Abbott took to office?

    Of course you haven’t, there’s been a media blackout!

  31. andypants1989 says:

    How does Abbott inheriting labors debt explain the 150 billion dollars worth of debt he’s created since taking office?

  32. Ollie Crouch says:

    Pubs and clubs, homes and whores

  33. AceStar says:

    His hands. Couple of times it looked like he thought he was supposed to be praying, then quickly realised this wasn’t a prayer.

    Oh yeah and being green any other day of the year sure is fucking evil isn’t it. The end.

  34. Leah says:

    It was awkward but not offensive. I thought the Greens quip was amusing, and I don’t see why the guinness comment was so offensive, people would say the same thing about Australians – I know this because I’m an Australian living in England and had an englishman make a joke in the same vein just last night.

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