Liberal MPs To Tony Abbott: Retire Bitch

Tony Abbott is facing calls from the Liberal backbench to resign from Parliament over his role in the botched leadership coup that saw Malcolm Turnbull ousted as Prime Minister.

Old onion breath was one of the key backers in Peter Dutton’s push to give Turnbull the boot, a scheme that backfired magnificently after Scott Morrison swooped in and plucked the top job from Dutton’s weird, goblin-like claws.

Now, several Liberal MPs have said it’s time for Tony to jog the fuck on. And frankly, I couldn’t agree more.

“I think he’ll retire at the next election,” Queensland MP Andrew Laming told ABC radio on Saturday. “I’d encourage him to.”

That sentiment was echoed by fellow Queenslander Warren Entsch, who said that the leadership spill had been “purely about revenge”.

“I think his mission is accomplished, he has got rid of his nemesis,” Entsch told News Corp on Friday.

Even the Nationals have been getting stuck in, with Victorian Nationals MP Damian Drum telling the ABC earlier in the week that Abbott “needs to get out of the joint”.

“He vowed he wouldn’t be a wrecker and that’s exactly what he’s been, a wrecker,” Drum said.

tony abbott: finally… after three years… i will have my revenge *instantly charges headlong into a wall and obliterates his head + spine*

— j.r. hennessy (@jrhennessy) August 22, 2018

Last but not least, Abbott was on the receiving end of some parting shots from Turnbull.

“Peter Dutton and Tony Abbott and others, who chose to deliberately attack the government from within, they did so because they wanted to bring the government down,” said Turnbull during his farewell speech.

Now we just have to hope these idiots keep squabbling until the next election.