Tony Abbott Awoke To An Enraged Troupe Of Dancing Tampons This Morning

By Elizabeth Flux, 28/5/2015 54 39806

For someone who struggles to even let the word “tampon” escape his lips, Tony Abbott’s trip into work this morning was probably about 10 percent more taxing than usual as he battled his way through a volley of protesters dressed up as items “which are one way or another regarded as health products”.

Over the past few days, Tony Abbott and Joe Hockey have been taking part in a particularly frustrating game of yes-no-maybe, punting around the possibility of removing the GST on items for people to bleed into once a month back and forth between them.

Things were looking good after Monday’s Q&A. There, the Treasurer was confronted by Stop Taxing My Period petition founder Subeta Vimalarajah and admitted the tax should probably not be applied to these products. “[I’ll] raise it with the states at the next meeting of the Treasurers in July,” he said, before reaffirming it on Twitter.

Enter Tony ‘Minister For Women’ Abbott. “It’s certainly not something that this Government has a plan to do,” he told reporters on Tuesday morning, effectively quashing any momentum from the night before. Promising a tedious bureaucratic mess shunting between state and federal levels until the end of time, he then claimed it should instead be a state issue as they’re the ones who would be forfeiting an extra $30 million in revenue each year.

“My preference is that the states and territories should make up their minds whether they want any changes to the GST,” he said.

But this is all a bit awkward now, as Triple J Hack then went on to contact each state and territory to see where they stand on the issue. The majority would vote to scrap the GST on these items.

Not only this, he also managed avoid saying any of the following: “tampons”, “pads”, “menstrual” or “bleeding”, with the diligence of someone convinced that merely uttering the unclean words would immediately summon the contents of a sanitary bin to his person.

Despite his best efforts, the unholy demon sticks just won’t stay away.

With hope threatening to go down the toilet, and options being limited to either unfairly paying through the nose or being permanently pregnant until menopause hits, the petition’s creator and a bunch of protesters have turned to plan B: dance protest and “free hugs for tax repealers”.

They also brought this excellent billboard.

“Within a few days of starting the campaign, I had my first 10,000 signatures” Subeta said to the media and fellow protesters. “The fight is not over yet. Tony Abbott backed away from Hockey’s comments at his first chance [but] it would be a disservice to those who have campaigned on this in the past to stop short of that legislative change.”

It’s a great point and she shows a whole lot of passion for it, but why stop at dancing tampons? If the government insists on padding out its budget by taxing essential items, further protests could include literally sending the painters and decorators in, or perhaps recruiting cosplayers to re-enact a very special kind of Red Wedding.

Listen to the dancing tampons Mr Abbott — maybe it’s time to just go with the flow on this one.

–

Feature Image GetUp/Twitter.

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  • Richard Seglenieks

    Punny article

  • Jason Ashman

    How don’t these people understand, yes they may be essential, but so is food, water, toilet paper, all this other stuff and yet, we get taxed on that too.

    And yes, condoms are GST free, but thats because they can prevent disease. Tampons don’t prevent diseases. Honestly, I think you would have a better case for removing the GST from toilet paper.

    • Carmel

      We don’t actually get taxed on unprocessed food or water.

      • Jason Ashman

        I stand corrected

    • Kalillea Saurfang

      “Tampons don’t prevent diseases.” Yes, because having blood oozing everywhere for a week is completely sanitary. No potential for bacteria or disease there at all. Not to mention, periods are optional, just like sex!

      • Jason Ashman

        It is extremely unsanitary. I am not saying it is, but thats besides the point.

    • Erin Kelty

      Spoken like somebody who has never had a period!

      • Jason Ashman

        does that invalidate my opinion?

        And while, no, I haven’t had one, I still do pay for the materials for my wife.

        • KVickers

          Wow buying pads makes you an expert. I buy mens shaving cream for my husband and jocks for my 3 boys, that makes me an expert on pissing standing up.

          • Jason Ashman

            Yeah thats exactly what I said, I am an expert.

          • KVickers

            Twit was the word that comes to my mind.

          • Jason Ashman

            How constructive

          • Nicole

            Actually they do help prevent diseases.

          • Alex

            If he’s financially supporting his wife, then the price of tampons is as much a part of his budget as it is of yours.

        • bek

          Not all people are lucky enough to have a significant other and tampons and pads are very expensive, especially for people on a budget.

          • Jason Ashman

            too right, but so is everything. So we should just stop taxing everything?

        • tosser

          How very quaint and chivalrous of you. No doubt she has your pipe and slippers warmed up ready to go with your snifter of brandy as you dismount from your white charger.

        • ang

          Bet you happy dont have six daughters, gets bloody expensive!

    • julie mcguire

      I am wondering if you are a male person.

      • Jason Ashman

        Why does that matter?

    • Ayn Rancid

      Lol, you don’t understand gst

    • KVickers

      Jason grow a pair mate. You look like a twit actually trying to defend this. If I was your mum I be shaking my head right now.

      • Jason Ashman

        Good thing you arent then I guess. And why is it i look like a twit for thinking that everyone should pay their fair share?

        • Thom Starling

          A word of advice “Better to superglue your fingers together and be thought a fool than let them loose on a keyboard and remove all shadow of a doubt.” You continue to remove all shadow of a doubt with every post. Is your ambition to be poster child for ‘The Dunning-Kruger Effect’.

          • ang

            Love it, time to superglue my fingers!!!! hahaha! Come on dancing tampons,, hilarious, and well done! So creative. Just gald they were new tampons,, oh dear! wheres the superglue, quick!

        • KV

          Because men having nothing that equates to a period. There is no product out there that is absolutely vital for a man to have so he can participate in society. For women not having access to tampons and pads excludes them from society. Indeed its such a problem in 3rd world countries that girls and women can not attend school or go to work. So by not only taxing them but making it a higher tax (women’s sanitary products were taxed as luxury items long before GST) women are forced to pay a price for a natural bodily function. So speaking on the issue of fair how fair is a tax on a product that impacts only half our population? Its called sexism you jerk. And so your know your view point is also sexist.

    • pto

      Food, toilet paper, etc. are vital for everyone. Therefore a tax is just a tax. Tampons are vital to women and useless for men, therefore a tax on them is discriminatory. There, was that so hard?

      • bek

        I’d love to see a man have a period… You wouldn’t be getting out of bed you ignorant idiot.

        • Jason Ashman

          What does that have to do with this debate?

        • Alex

          I feel like you guys were actually on the same side there

          • pto

            Yeh, I suspect that reply was meant for the post above…

    • Mia Kate

      I’d like to direct you to some information on this page:
      http://www.sswm.info/content/menstrual-hygiene-management
      Which discusses the numerous health problems that can stem from a lack of menstrual sanitary products including bacterial infections and spread of blood borne diseases. Tampons and pads do prevent these in menstruating people.
      Repeat: tampons and pads DO prevent health problems.
      This is especially pertinent to homeless people who menstruate and struggle to afford/access these products from charity services.
      I think it is also fundamentally wrong to be taxing only roughly half the population who menstruate and have no choice in the matter short of expensive drugs or surgery, unlike your examples of condoms where sex is a choice and toilet paper, which everyone uses (I hope.)
      I hope you will take the time to do some more reading and consider your position on the matter more thoroughly.
      Thanks.

      • Karen Bristol

        Also, the end product (ie, the used products) and their disposal, is classified as ‘medical waste’ (for the same reasons you state above) and is dealt with accordingly, by law.
        So therefore, these should be classified as health/medical goods, which are exempt from GST….

    • ang

      OMG Condoms are free, but not tampons? Dont have to have sex, dont get disease! hahaha rofl x

    • Sylvia Moranda Benoit

      Food as in groceries not boxed or canned, water and fresh produce like fruits and veggies ….they are not taxed….So why no untaxe tampons why not do it for diapers and toilet paper too…and why should some ppl whine because tampons are for ladies exclusively? Then shut up grab a roll and join in. We are taxed too much in canada anyway. They taxe our food, our pay check and whatever they cant tax they create gov job that we pay for service and so that the government has a second chance in taxing again….geez Jay jay stop being such a bloody pussy. BTW blood everywhere…on sofas dripping down legs…bug mucus chunks of coagulated blood….no sanitary at all.

    • Alex

      You seemed to have called down a heap of fire and brimstone on yourself here, and I think I’m about to as well. You’re actually correct, but for slightly the wrong reasons. It’s about price elasticity.

      Condoms are GST free, because if they were more expensive, people would use them less. Which is bad news (note, condoms are not just for men). This is also why the GST doesn’t apply to fresh food and such, to avoid discouraging people from using it.

      However, you can’t really go without tampons, which makes them a prime candidate for GST. The solution is to make sure some of that money gets fed back to the people who can’t totally afford it in the form of low income tax breaks and social security payments, etc.

  • KVickers

    For the love of God just remove the bloody tax, literally.
    And for all you blokes who actually whinge about about how ‘its not that bad’ or how they are not essential. Stop you really just come across as a bit of a tosser.

  • Joe

    How come this wasn’t an issue while the ALP/Green government was in for 6 years?

    • ike

      People have been discussing this for years just because this is the first you have heard of it doesn’t mean it’s the first time it has ever been an issue.

      • Joe

        You’ll be able to point out the dancing tampon stories while they were in power then?

  • Arabella Close

    We weren’t enraged. We were delightful.

    • Arabella Close

      But thank you for your lovely article!

  • Terry Wrist

    Doesn’t look like it will get through unless WA gets a fairer deal on GST, 30c in the dollar is unsustainable and WA has had enough of bailing out socialist basketcase states like Tasmania and the NT.

    • KV

      WA should have saved some of all that mining revenue.

  • Karen Bristol

    Sanitary items should be classified as a health & medical product. So should, therefore, be GST free. Bandages are….

    • Morris

      In GST legislation, “health and medical products” are defined as being “specifically designed for people with an illness or disability” (which tampons are not) and “not widely used by people without an illness or a disability” (which tampons are) – so they really don’t qualify. But I still think legislation should change and all sanitary items should be GST free and not excluded simply because of how “definitions” are phrased.

  • Lu

    If women are to keep paying tax on sanitary products, the 30 million dollars raise per year should go directly towards supporting women in vulnerable situations. Funding initiatives and programs. As a woman, I wouldn’t mind paying tax on my tampons for that.

    • Corinna Menz

      Yeah what a friggen awesome idea. Keep the tax and dedicate that tax money for such things. Spot on ayy. I rather know its going to something and helping other women every time I buy a pack of tampons. =) insted of loosing the tax and getting some extra silver in my pocket.

    • Alex

      The 2014 federal budget laid out more than $45 million extra as part of the “National Plan to Reduce Violence against Women and Children.” So in a way, it does really.

  • ang

    hahaha! luv it… Well done!!! Brilliant, totally agree. Surely essential??? Why gst… ?? I KNEW A LADY WITH 6 DAUGHTERS, omg? it gets costly!!!

  • Morris

    It’s nothing to do with being an “essential item”. There are several sanitary items that are GST free, including continence pads and personal hygiene products for diabled people. For an item to be considered a ‘Health and medical product, it needs to be “specifically designed for people with an illness or disability” and “not widely used by people without an illness or a disability” – so tampons etc. fail by a long way in meeting either of these legal requirements. Therefore, it would seem that the definition of “health and medical product” may be flawed, but it’s Tony Abbotts problem, as both Prime Minister and Minister for Women, to listen to and advocate for Australian women and to solve it – but only if he wants to!