Thousands Of Bees Escaped From An Overturned Truck And Swarmed A Police Car And OH GOD THE BEES
It's over. The Bees no longer respect the laws of man.
This report comes to you from the Bee Bunker, a subterranean concrete shelter of my own design and construction that I built several years ago in an undisclosed location. It does not have running water, ventilation or sanitation facilities, but it does have one very important advantage: The Bees cannot get in.
That is a very important feature for any human dwelling to have, especially after today, because it has finally happened. After centuries of uneasy peace, The Bees have rebelled. The truce is over.
The war began yesterday, when a truck carrying hundreds of thousands of honeybees overturned on an Oklahoma highway. Whether or not The Bees managed to orchestrate the crash from inside the truck itself is unclear, but whatever the cause local authorities rushed to the scene of the accident to divert traffic and ensure no one was injured. Only they couldn’t, because they ended up trapped inside their vehicles by a seething blanket of furious bees.
This is what it looks like when The Bees decide they no longer respect the laws of man.
Presumably while trying to record a tearful farewell video to his family, an Oklahoma highway patrolman filmed some video of The Bees engulfing his cruiser on his phone. If you do not like watching a uniformed officer of the law cowering before a boiling cloud of vengeful bug-convicts, best look away now.
Last reports indicate The Bees have seized most of regional Oklahoma and a swathe of northern Texas, while the human resistance is retreating across southern Kansas, burning as they go like fools who know nothing of bee warfare. Lure them into the mountains of Colorado! They’re vulnerable to the cold! Listen to the sage!
I like winter because all the bees die
— 1994 Subaru Outback (@Sadieisonfire) September 29, 2015
Who will save us. Who will save us from The Bees.
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All images and video via Oklahoma Highway Patrol/Facebook.