This Totally Sane Old Dude Has Made A Pill To Make Your Farts Smell Like Roses
But you know what roses really smell like?
It takes a really special kind of person to dedicate their life’s work to farts. The countless hours of trial and error, the inevitable string of horrifying failures, the strain it would all take on your emotional wellbeing (not to mention your love life). It’s safe to say that, 65-year-old Frenchman Christian Poincheval has sacrificed a lot. And, though you might scoff at first, that kind of love of butts is just straight-up impressive.
Now, like a modern day Coco Chanel, Poincheval claims to have invented a range of pills that make your farts smell better.
For just €9.99 ($14.61 AUD), you can score a jar of 60 pills to make your butt smell like either roses or chocolates. No longer will your farts pose an unwelcome intrusion to tense job interviews or romantic first dates. No longer will you be ostracised or ridiculed for your awkward elevator ripper. With this pill, people will welcome your bowel’s inclusion in the conversation. Perhaps they’ll forgo their morning cologne or perfume in the faint hope you’ll let your delicious scent waft over them during the day.
Laugh if you must, but boy, business is a’booming. Poincheval perfected his Super Scientific Medication in 2006 and shipments have been consistently whisked away all over the UK ever since. With 100 percent natural ingredients including fennel, vegetable coal, seaweed, blueberries and plant resin — yum! — the mad genius even claims they may contribute to “the reduction of gas and bloating”.
He’s now getting international attention for his new Christmas-themed chocolate butt pill allowing you to “fart through to the New Year in grand style” — because if you can think of a better way to consume chocolate he’d sure like to hear it.
The classic rose offering will of course still be available throughout the festive period too. Unfortunately we can’t vouch for how effective it is, but if OutKast are to be believed, you probably shouldn’t waste your money.
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Via The Telegraph.