This Sausage Dog Ditched Its Novelty Race To Score Home Runs; Is Now America’s Greatest Athlete
RUN FREE, SWEET CHAMPION.
This weekend, hotdog vendors Wienerschnitzel sponsored a fun little dachshund race on the pitch before a minor league baseball game between the El Paso Chihuahuas and Oklahoma City Dodgers. It was just a silly novelty for the Texan sports fans at the stadium. It was a chance to win a bit of cash for the pet owners. But for one inspirational little dog, it was EVERYTHING.
After presumably catching sight of the announcer’s shirt which read “Little dogs, big dream”, one raggedly sausage dog majestically burst forth from his starting block, freed himself from his oppressive miniature coat, and ran with gleeful abandon around Southwest University Park — his tongue gently billowing behind him like a victory flag.
I challenge you to find one other example of someone running for two uninterrupted minutes around a baseball pitch so freely. This little champion outran professional athletes. He dodged them. He taunted them. Then he rolled over for well-deserved belly pats when he was good and ready.
Please erase every sports film ever made and replace them with this looped gif, thanks.
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FYI Melbourne is getting its first daschund race in just a couple of weeks. If it doesn’t end in an all-out stampede down Flinders Street I will be personally offended.