Culture

The USA Is Going Full ‘Team America’ Over The Women’s World Cup Final Right Now

Tone it down, guys.

by Alex McKinnon  6 July 2015

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The Fourth of July happened over the weekend, and Americans celebrated according to the ancient customs of their people by setting off fireworks, decking everything out in red-white-n’-blue and being belligerently patriotic at everyone.

The internet becomes a giant ‘Murica festival around this time of year anyway, but cranking up the nationalism to new heights this time round is the final of the FIFA Women’s World Cup in Canada, which is taking place right now between the USA and Japan. American fans have gotten behind the national team in a massive way, with home-made hype videos and messages of support flooding the team’s social media channels.

It’s a uniquely American blend of excitement, earnestness, patriotism and genuine warmth, both touching and kind of funny, and which has no better method of expression than this video of a sweaty Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson shouting inspirational messages in a gym.

Now the game is underway, and as though buoyed by all the support the USA have come out guns blazing, slotting an astonishing four goals to nothing in the first twenty minutes. Accordingly, the #USAvJPN hashtag has become an orgy of people screaming “USA! USA! USA!” and making kind-of-inappropriate callbacks to Pearl Harbor and the A-bomb.

The freaking US Navy has even gotten involved, with the crew of a goddamn aircraft carrier painstakingly arranging themselves into the shape of the American flag, presumably while stationed off the Japanese coast ready to carpetbomb them back into the Stone Age if they make a comeback.

While expecting Americans to tone it down during a championship game around the Fourth of July is like asking a dog not to eat lasagna dropped on the floor, it’s pretty excellent to see the Women’s World Cup garner the kind of massive support and attention it deserves. It’s just like men’s soccer, only the players don’t react to lightly brushing against another player like they’re auditioning for Les Miserables.