The True Australian Patriots “Split” From Reclaim Australia, Are Still Getting Mistaken For Genuine Far-Right Crazies
"this is AUSTRALIA AND NOT BLOODY THE UKRAINE WE ARE NOT A MUSLIM COUNTRY AND WE DO NOT WANT ANY VEGEMITE OR SEAFOOD SALAD WRAPS THAT ARE HALAL"
The True Australian Patriots have been courageously leading the fight against Islamists, Sharon’s law and halal chicken nuggets since July. Since then, the TAP — actually a bunch of stand-up comedians from Melbourne and Brisbane who are taking the piss — have acted on their stated aim to stand “against HALAL and other philosophys destroy AUSSIE WAY OF LIFE! Hands off our VEGEMITE!” via a handful of branded videos, a Twitter account, and numerous posts meant for private consumption that quickly devolve into public slapfights between the “admins” in the comments section.
The fact that, two months on, a substantial number of the comments left under each video and status are from people unaware that the group is a joke testifies to how well they mimic the hilarious ineptness of the groups they’re parodying.
Now in the spirit of far-right Islamophobic deadshits everywhere, the True Australian Patriots are officially distancing themselves from “similar” groups like Reclaim Australia and the United Patriots Front on the grounds of ideological purity.
In a stirring video released yesterday, the TAP accused the UPF of being Islamist puppets, denigrated the rival group’s clubhouse and debated the finer points of the original Mortal Kombat games, before hastily reassuring the librarian that they would stop shouting and finish filming in the spare room by 5 o’clock closing time.
If tensions within the True Australian Patriots continue it may lead to yet more splinter groups. The Australian True Patriots, the True Patriot Australians, the True Australian Patriots of Australia. Sky’s the limit, really.