The Trailer For The Annie Remake Just Landed, Crosses The Line Between Auto-Tune And Child Abuse
Produced by Jay Z and Will Smith, and starring Quvenzhané Wallis, Jamie Foxx, and mean old Cameron Diaz.
Hey look guys, it’s the re-Annie-mated corpse of one of your childhood favourites, slouching towards you like a delirious Cameron Diaz on day three of a really stinky juice cleanse. That’s right, the trailer for that Annie remake is finally upon us!
Produced by Jay Z and Will Smith, this reimagined version of the classic musical takes place in modern-day New York, and stars adorable young and Academy Award-nominated Quvenzhané Wallis (Beasts of the Southern Wild) as the orphan of the title, Jamie Foxx as the rich man who takes her in, and Cameron Diaz as herself.
You probably have a lot of questions after watching this. Like, why the hell did they slather so much Auto-Tune on poor Quvenzhané? Why does Miss Hannigan’s orphanage look nicer than most people’s regular apartments? And, most importantly, why is any of this necessary?
I’m a sucker for any movie where Cameron Diaz is mean to children for no reason – Bad Teacher is way better than you remember – so I’ll be watching the hell out of this. But I will NOT feel good about myself afterwards.
Annie opens in December. Prepare yourselves.