The Liberal Democrats Have Released A “Hurt Feelings Complaint Form” And It’s Actually Beyond Belief
This very real political party are kindly asking you to stop being so "butthurt".
The standard for civil decorum in Australian politics may be at an all-time low. Our Shadow Infrastructure Minister is also a DJ; both Clive Palmer and Fred Nile continue to exist; and our Prime Minister never actually explained why he ate that onion. Really think about it. He’s sitting in Canberra right now making decisions of grave national consequence all the while being one of the only known creatures in the world to willingly shove a raw onion in his face. I’ve looked into it. The only animals that do that are gophers and a particular breed of maggot.
Anyway. With all this going on on the main stage, the eccentricities of smaller parties like the Liberal Democrats can sometimes be overlooked. With LDP Senator David Leyonhjelm constantly pushing for marriage equality and being one of the few politicians to stand up against the government’s data retention legislation, it’s easy to forget that he also keeps trying to shove guns in our faces, regularly posts videos of his cats to his official social media accounts, and just this week suggested that living next to wind turbines was comparable to smoking. When someone challenged him on this — protestors dressed in full Medieval garb — he straight-up told them to “fuck off”.
Now, his entire party’s stepped it up to the big time and released a “Hurt Feelings Complaint Form” on their official Facebook page.
“In response to a rising level of what can only be described as ‘butthurt’ regarding both Liberal Democrats policy and the various utterances of our public figures we have decided to streamline our grievance processes,” wrote their President Gabriel Buckley. “Should anything any of us do, say, think or look like we’re thinking of doing or saying cause your knickers to bunch unceremoniously please feel free to fill out one of our handy complaints forms.”
Though the staunchly libertarian party are well-known for their IDGAF Ron Swanson style, this just truly goes above and beyond. Did you have a problem with “that horrid Senator” for being “a heteronormative cis white male scumlord”? Well, the Liberal Democratic Party — a very real decade-old party which had a member elected to the Senate with the third-highest primary vote in NSW — would kindly like you to “roll up this piece of paper and stick it fair up your arse”.
Credit where it’s due: some of this is pretty funny and the fact Leyonhjelm is sharing it on social media while calling people “twats” — yep, that’s happening too — will get him a bunch of popularity points. Unlike the majority of other political stunts, it actually does make him seem like a regular (albeit thoroughly unpleasant) human.
But it’s also probably important to keep in mind the actual reasons people are complaining. It has something to do with them not wanting people running around with AK-47s, and never-ending inquiries into wind farms that do nothing but help the environment and make everything look slightly more European.
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Feature image via Liberal Democratic Party/YouTube.